Hi all, I'm new here so I hope I don't say anything wrong.. I just need to get a few things off my chest. Okay well; I'm 18 years old, I dropped out of sixth form yet I got into an Arts School for a Foundation Degree. I was bullied when I started my secondary school. I was raped when I was 14 - not going into details. I had attempted suicide when I was 15, then again when I was 16. Both times a small part of me didn't want to die and I was afraid. When I was 16 I started making friends and I became close friends with a guy who I could open up to in small ways. I was friends with him for over 6 months and then despite complications we started dating. With him I forgot my horrible fearful past, I forgot my disbelief in love and everything that heald me back in previous relationships. Slowly we built up a very strong trust and became phisically involved, he said he'd never leave me and all he cared about was making me happy. I was off my anti depressents. I left all my fear behind and I could smile and feel. I didn't need to complain all the time or hurt myself. He was sensitive and I could trust him with my life and I'd happily give it away if he needed me to. I went through difficultys with subjects at school (during my AS Levels) and I decided I needed to move closer to him and do what I always loved - Art. I lost some friends but I didn't mind too much. I achieved all the things I had wanted. I was on top of the world. I moved nearer and I made better friends and friends at art school. He visited me often, he slept over 1 - 2 times a week and we would be so close. Everything was perfect. At the moment he is working on getting into a university and he is working very hard. He became very stressed in the last 2 weeks. He said he needed to talk to me and out of no where he asked if we could be friends for a while... He said he didn't know how long, I asked if his feeling had changed and he wouldn't answer. The next day I went to see him and we planned (well it was all my ideas) that we could be on a break for 3-4 months until we finish exams and such. We arranged that we'd meet once every 2 weeks. Since this I haven't been able to stop crying, every train I take and every where I go I cry publicly. The night he told me all I could think of was suicide and different methods. I know if he decided to break it off or moved on to someone else I would not see any reason to live. Everything I do is around him, every day is around him. I literally don't see a life without him. Please don't tell me hes not everything, he is. Please - if anyone knows what I can do to help him and therefore help myself - please tell me. Thank you.