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I don't think anything can help me, might as well post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by unlovedanddying, Dec 5, 2014.

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  1. unlovedanddying

    unlovedanddying New Member

    let me guess, your going to say I'm faking and ban me or delete this because it's "crapposting" we'll I tell you this isn't a crappost, it's more from a crap person. mods just do your fucking job.

    it would take hours to type all of my problems here but since I don't have anything better to do and that I can't sleep I will. I'm a 15 year old guy who lives in Australia, the most annoying place in the world. I just can't take this anymore and no one I know will care or even notice if I killed myself, so I just need to let some person on the internet acknowledge how I feel, not that you care. I used to have really good grades in school, but in year 7 I began dropping grades, now I just finished year 8 and I've completely failed everything because I've given up on the whole idea of getting anything out of school, it doesn't relate to my interests and my depression that has lasted for almost 8 years has stopped me from doing work for the hell of it. I have absolutely no social life and there's nothing I can do about it. I push people away without even realizing that I'm doing it. I used to think it was all those kids fault for rejecting me, over the years I slowly realised I'm just not good enough for anybody. To be accepted into humanity you to be fun and happy your whole fucking life and anyone who's depressed gets bullied and laughed at by people who don't know what pain. People fake want me alive, saying their bullshit about their rejecting me being better in the long term and for my own good, they don't know there won't be a long term. They're all just waiting for me to snap and kill myself so they can have another party that I'm not invited to, to have more fun that I can't be part of because I'm not good enough for life. I don't even have a girlfriend like everyone else my age either has or has had in the past. Just having one person to like me would clear away all of this shit and make my life good but I know it won't ever happen, because no girls like boys who waste away their time making shitty weapons. The world would be better if I didn't exist everyone knows that, even my parents are saying they wish I just went away. This one girl I truly loved didn't love me back, just like no one has and ever will. I'll never have a relationship, never have a job, never have friends, never have a life so I think it's time to stop fucking timestalling and say goodbye to everyone, I have a plan and everything but the rules say I'm not allowed to say it so I won't. Fuck it. Mods make your fucking edits you sick bastards. No girl wants me. I'm such a loser. I get rejected all the time by girls. I am so alone and worthless. Girls say they like me as a friend. It's like a shot in the heart. It's time to pick up the shitty gun I made because it's illegal to buy them in this shit country. I'm not going to go into the details of all of this shit the call of duty kids keep calling plasma cannons and crap. My gun has no plasma or lasers. The kids need to take me seriously and do some science because I'm sick of their crap and I think as worthless as a person I am these people need to at least know what put me in my gravestone, that is if people are even willing to spend dirt on getting my body covered up or if it will just sit there until the sun explodes, because even flies and worms and shit are going to stay away from me that's how bad I am.

    TL; fucking DR: I have nothing good about my life and nothing going for me I should probably just die right now. No girls like me and even though it's not the sole reason I'm suicidal at least having someone there for me would give me a reason to live. I've mad an incendiary gun and I'm really considering shooting myself with it.
  2. Bart

    Bart Banned Member

    Hi, and welcome to the Forum. I hope you find something useful here.

    It seems that you're angry with............... *everything*. Well, you're not the first and probably not the last.

    If you want people here to help you, maybe should allow them to?
  3. laureen

    laureen Member

    I'm new to this Forum too, so I'm just gonna say a few things. You're not worthless - you may not live in the place that you want to live, or have the people around you that you would like but you are 15 years old... The world is really open and waiting for you. I can imagine what you are going through, my son was the same when he was your age. Didn't really fit in, didn't feel comfortable, didn't have friends in our town but I always told him and I tell you now too - hold on, take a step back and look what your life could be. Put everything your "I'm a looser, bad, don't like the world etc" energy into your school, get that degree and start your life somewhere where you always wanted to be. I feel bad that you are considering such a drastic end to your new life, because I know not having a girlfriend isn't nice when everyone else does but really take all the energy and get away from a that place and into an environment that you like. As I said before, my son did the same, growing up in the smallest town ever - he hang in there and as soon as he graduated he moved to Europe, New York and everywhere he wanted to be. Trust me, suicide isn't the answer- you have your whole life ahead of you. And usually people say it to anybody but you are 15... you literally have so many years ahead of you and its all in your hands. I miss my son everyday and I wish you the best of luck.
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    What do you want that will make life better for you?

    why the hate towards mods on this forum? They did not do anything to you.
  5. Linny

    Linny Active Member

    -wave- It's good to have another young person on here (well no not good at all but I mean it makes me feel less alone because I feel like everyone here is older than me) and I just want to say I get it. Nobody appreciates your work nobody gets the volume of what you do and nobody sees who you really are. At this age, no one takes us seriously especially when we say we want to kill ourselves. They come back with "You've got your whole life ahead of you" and your response is "Well what's the point if it's going to stay like this?" You're angry. That's completely reasonable. You can still stick around here to talk. Don't talk bad about the mods though, they're doing their jobs obviously and you should follow the rules in the first place so that you don't hurt someone else. We're all considerate here so just take a second to talk. I came here angry too. I've gotten better at watching my temper here though and you might be able to as well after you find a friend like I did.
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