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... Actually... I'm not sure.
Firstly Hi to everyone on the forum.
... I guess you noticed I'm a noob...
The thing is... I was really really happy just a year ago. Than I started flunking university... I had never ever flunked anything before... so this was weird. Truthfully though, I'll admit... I'm a lazy bastard, but usually I managed to get by.
So anyway last year I flunked my major. I thought it was the end of the world, and that I couldn't carry on. Thankfully I pulled through that. I promised myself that this year I would improve. It started of quite well... But than I flunked my major AGAIN! And here I am.
The worst part is... I missed it by just 2%. And I even HAD the 2% in my exam. It was just a stupid marking error. But by the time I realized it the lecturer refused to mark it.
So... yeah.
It feels terrible. Sometimes I can force myself to be happy for a while, but today I felt soooo bad. I just felt like ending it all. I drove around for an hour just crying (It's really pathetic when you consider that I'm a 19 year old guy). I wished that I would just be involved in a terrible car crash and die.
I really am just a burden on my family. And I have a great family. My mum, dad and 3 sisters are absolutely the best I could ever hope for. Except my mum and dad are real sticklers over Grades (They were both really smart, my dad's a doctor and my mum has a masters degree in economics)... And I let them down. AGAIN. I couldn't even muster enough courage to tell them.
The most frustrating thing is that I didn't fail. I got the marks. It's just that my douche of a lecturer refuses to even acknowledge that I did.
My mum and dad have given me everything. All they asked is that I do well at school. At least try. But I couldn't even do that for them. I seriously wish I could just die. I know they'd be sad for a while... But I think in the long run they'd be happier, before they realize that their son is a lying, snivelling dipshit.
The thing is though that (unfortunately?) I'm quite religious. It's just the way that I've been bought up... and I think it's the only thing that stopped me doing it last year... But now... It's so much worse.
I'm sorry to trouble you guys... I just wish there was someone I could talk to.
Firstly Hi to everyone on the forum.
... I guess you noticed I'm a noob...
The thing is... I was really really happy just a year ago. Than I started flunking university... I had never ever flunked anything before... so this was weird. Truthfully though, I'll admit... I'm a lazy bastard, but usually I managed to get by.
So anyway last year I flunked my major. I thought it was the end of the world, and that I couldn't carry on. Thankfully I pulled through that. I promised myself that this year I would improve. It started of quite well... But than I flunked my major AGAIN! And here I am.
The worst part is... I missed it by just 2%. And I even HAD the 2% in my exam. It was just a stupid marking error. But by the time I realized it the lecturer refused to mark it.
So... yeah.
It feels terrible. Sometimes I can force myself to be happy for a while, but today I felt soooo bad. I just felt like ending it all. I drove around for an hour just crying (It's really pathetic when you consider that I'm a 19 year old guy). I wished that I would just be involved in a terrible car crash and die.
I really am just a burden on my family. And I have a great family. My mum, dad and 3 sisters are absolutely the best I could ever hope for. Except my mum and dad are real sticklers over Grades (They were both really smart, my dad's a doctor and my mum has a masters degree in economics)... And I let them down. AGAIN. I couldn't even muster enough courage to tell them.
The most frustrating thing is that I didn't fail. I got the marks. It's just that my douche of a lecturer refuses to even acknowledge that I did.
My mum and dad have given me everything. All they asked is that I do well at school. At least try. But I couldn't even do that for them. I seriously wish I could just die. I know they'd be sad for a while... But I think in the long run they'd be happier, before they realize that their son is a lying, snivelling dipshit.
The thing is though that (unfortunately?) I'm quite religious. It's just the way that I've been bought up... and I think it's the only thing that stopped me doing it last year... But now... It's so much worse.
I'm sorry to trouble you guys... I just wish there was someone I could talk to.