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I don't think I can fix it anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by muv_ur_dolly, Feb 24, 2013.

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  1. muv_ur_dolly

    muv_ur_dolly Member

    I've been suicidal for a long time now,

    I'd feel that way for months and months at a time and try and attempt and fail in a vicious circle till finally I had enough and I planned to make sure the next time I tried I'd make sure I would have nothing to live for.

    So now I have absolutely no money ( in fact I've just about destroyed my credit limit, and owe money to the bank and credit companies), I have stopped talking to and destroyed most of my friendships and family relationships except with my boyfriend (but I've became so bitter and hurt him emotionally with all my prior attempts), I went from and almost 85 average to around a 60 in university and all this happened because I was suppose to die. I destroyed my entire life because I was suppose to die. I didn't realize how much I had and how I could of probably gotten help but now I have to die.

    I always wanted to die, but now that I have to die a cruel sadness is washing over me. It feels unfair but it's all my fault and now I have to die.

    Worst of all, even if I could fix my life I have no supports. The hospital doesn't take me seriously because of all my priors. My diagnoses of Borderline makes them think I'm an attention seeker and my boyfriend is exhausted.

    It's sad, but I have to die.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you know you do not have to die There are supports to help you You get help and you learn to curve that impulsiveness you get DBT therapy you get on medication
    you call your doctor you go to emergency and stay there until they help you NO ONE has to die noone you have the chose to live i hope you reach out now hun
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