I Dont Think I Can Go On Like This Anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lifeishopeless, Apr 29, 2015.

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  1. I'm 17 years old. I dropped out of high school back in October due to the fact that I was suffering from depression and anxiety, which I still am. I have always tried to fit in at school but I never really did. I have very few friends which I don't know if I can call them friends. I don't have a social life, never really did. I mainly stay at home. I don't play any sports because I suck at them. My life got a little easier but every time I try to make one step forward I get thrown 10 steps back. I was put in a institution for my depression and anxiety in February for a week. When I got out I was feeling a little better about everything. Now my mom has cancer which it's only in stage one right now. And I feel extremely bad because we never had a great relationship. My father was never in my life. I guess that's another thing that's bothering me . I don't really know who I am anymore I always put in a show to act like I had a okay life but that wall was distroyed in October. I've been going downhill since then. I have had several girlfriends since December. Those relationships didn't last all that long. So I guess it's not a relationship. But basically I feel like I don't have anyone I'm hopeless and I feel like I'm worthless and that I have nothing going for myself. I feel like I'm never going to be able to be in a real relationship with a girl. I feel like no girl would want to be with me since I have nothing going for myself or since I don't have a social life. I'm honestly afraid for people to see the things that I'm going through which I have told my ex at the time which she has some problems of her own but now I'm staying to myself I pretty much isolated myself from the world. I'm just going through a lot

    P.s I'm sorry if it's all over the place this is the first time I have been on here and I just don't really no what to say.
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Go back to school. Finish your education as it will be worse for you down the road with no diploma to get a job. High school can be very tough but the real world is more tougher on adults with no education.

    Just saying from life experience it will make your life more bearable. And not to knock you down when youre already down. Not many girls will want to stick around a long time with a guy with no hs education. Im not saying it to be mean but being 17 is not too late to go back and finish what you started.

    Now who pays for your insurance once youre 18?
     
  3. I can't get back into school because I'm to far behind. I am trying to get started on my G.E.D and want to go to a technical college. It's just that I have really bad anxiety. I don't really leave the house that much. I feel like I'm a burden on my mother especially now since she is about to start radiation for her cancer. I just feel worthless and hopeless like nothing is going to get better. I'm constantly beating my self up for all my poor decision that I have made and constantly over thinking about everything. Life is just hard.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum. I am sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment. I agree about you getting back into finishing school, maybe repeat the year? I suffer from severe anxiety too so I know what you are going through. Also, so sorry about your mum, that cannot be easy at all. I'm glad you know what college you want to go to. I'm 26 now and only getting back into education in september.

    I hope all works out for you, keep talking to us here if you find it helps. Best of luck.
     
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Dont beat yourself up. Its just part of your learning experience. No your not too late/far behind. I know several people graduated at age 21/22 from hs. Have a meeting with your counselor at the hs and review how mnany classes you need to make up to graduate.

    A close buddy of mine took few years beating himself up before he finally got the GED and he said it was harder to get than going to classes and doing homework. But its your choice. Maybe GED tests will be easy for you.
    Think your mom would be less stressed if she knows your intentions of getting your GED and follow through with tech school.
     
  6. There's a lot more going on with me than just involving what I have said. I'm very insercure about a lot of this. I feel like I'm always getting judge from everyone. I have low self-esteem as it is and I have isolated myself from basically everyone. I'm a emotional wreck.
     
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