I don't think I can live life happily as a male.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by HeroWho, May 24, 2011.

  1. HeroWho

    HeroWho Well-Known Member

    Whiten the past few years I've become more open-minded. I started to analyze everything society thinks is right and wrong. More recently however, I've been thinking about gender stereotypes (the right things for males to do and the right things for females to do) and and how different life is for both genders. I started to compare both genders to my own interests and opinions and I always seem to fit the feminine stereotypes rather then the male stereotypes. I don't think stereotypes mean much, but I thought this was an interesting fact about me that I never really noticed until then.

    So, I started thinking long and hard about it, which probably wasn't a good idea because I started developing this "I was supposed to be born a female" mindset that wont go away. I started to realize that because of the way my mind works, I'd probably be much happier as a female, rather then the misfit male that I am now.

    I can't seem to make myself content now that I'm aware of this. This never bothered me before, because I never made myself aware of it. I probably would have noticed this eventually if I dated someone (I always imagine myself playing the role of a female). I have again thought way too hard about a depressing subject and have made my myself depressed.
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi there. I think most people are a mix of both female and male and that there are variations of sexual orientation and confused gender identity is not unheard of.

    If being male concerns you and makes you unhappy, perhaps you could see a counselor who specializes in gender identity/sexual orientation issues. Might be a good way to explore your current unhappiness with being male. :hug:
     
  3. VonShizer

    VonShizer New Member

    Heya,
    I may be new on the forums but I, too, have been struggling with my gender identity for years now. I am on the opposite end of the spectrum from you (female to male), but if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to and who truly understands what you are going through, hit me up. :)
     
  4. SadLife

    SadLife Member

    i never like being a male but i guess i don't have the chance of being the opposite gender too cause money and people will oppsed me

    i m male , 17 single parent just losted my dad due to company's stupid design
    - never liked army
    - never like guys clothing
    -pefer being protected than the other way around
    -submissive type than dominat type
    -hate putting up a strong front
    -attracted to girls accessories , clothes , innerwear , footwear , cosmetic

    Greatest Regret In My Life
    - Unable to let my dad see me for the last time
    - Unable to be who i want to be
    - Unable to take care of my dad
     
  5. panoply

    panoply Banned Member

    I'm a bisexual male who's going through issues like yours. I am sexually attracted to both guys and girls, but I am only emotionally attracted to guys. My entire life I was raised far-right Christian, and it wasn't until I was 17 or so that I got free of that mindset and was able to start thinking for myself.

    These days I struggle with bouncing between being a dominant, chivalrous male type and a cuddly, neutral feminine type (stereotypes aside). It's confusing, frustrating and frightening, because I want a monogamous gay relationship but at the same time don't want my straight-guy tendencies to pop back up and make things difficult. :dry:
     
  6. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    I'm much older than most here. I'll be 34 in a month. It's overwhelming how fast time slips away and tha'ts why everyone that's older tells you to embrace life and don't make bad choices ignorant of their consequences. If you want to smile, smile now. If you have hard work to do, do it now. If you have something to say, say it now. Making bold choices will go the furthest in life.

    With this amount of time I've had lots of opportunity to understand my sexual orientation. A lot of girls in my time thought I was gay because of the way I acted. Always shy. Combed my hair one too many times. Walked too fast, but not confidently. Typing on a computer so much that I had nerd written all over me. Permanently stuck in adolescence in some ways. In fact, loooking back on it, I don't think so much that girls thought I was gay. It's just that it wasn't attractive and guys don't usually like to hang out with nerds so the predictable result was that I was alone most of the time.

    I've always been a weak male. I've never fit in with the guys that're macho and take control of a situation. BUT I've never fit in with girls either. I liked army men and GI-joes and robots and sports when I was younger and, for the most part, still do. I'm a lot less active now, but not overweight and could still jump higher than people half my age with a bit of effort. So I definitely have an interest in guy things. I don't consider myself emotional, but I am - with added emphasis - aloof or something. I have craved fantasy since I was a kid. I think I use fantasy to escape from the stress I feel in this life. I don't feel good enough. I don't feel strong enough. I don't have confidence. And this world has always caused me more grief than it should. I don't have thick skin. So these fantasies have always been my safe place. So I'm not a strong male but I'm no a girl! What am I? I think I'm just a weak male that has made a lot of bad choices in life.

    A few times when I was younger I wondered if I was gay. I had an emotional attraction to a couple guys. But the reality is I was just looking for an emotional connection in SOMEONE. It could have been a girl just as much as it could have been a guy. Since i've always been alone it's not surprising. I have relatives that're gay so I know a bit about it. I'm not gay. I can whip out a stereotypical guy talk about girls. I didn't talk about them back in school, but those things were occasionally on my mind. I do have a few strange things about me that I wont go into here, but I think what it all boils down to is that I don't (often enough) fit the expectations of other people.

    It takes time to figure it out. Time does so much that it's not credited for.

    Which leads me to: "Time is the greatest teacher, but sadly it kills all its pupils."

    Just remember that.... You don't have forever! Try to make good choices now. You WILL fail at times.

    They say dumb people learn from their mistakes and smart people learn from the mistakes of others. Not sure if I agree. But it's a great quote to hold onto for the right times. I think it's talking about your approach, not your intelligence.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2011