For the last few days I've been feeling extremely down and constantly depressed. Nothing seems to help and nothing has been able to get my mind off of my life. I'm very suicidal. I feel like tonight could be the night. I'm currently in a very financially unstable situation. I'm unemployed with my unemployment claim stalled for no apparent reason (or no reason they're willing to give me). As well, I've got bills I know for a fact I can't afford without having any form of income and my lack of a degree means I have absolutely 0 chance to get a job in my field. The only reason I had my previous job was because I got lucky and found a bank that was willing to hire me prior to completion of my degree. But I don't think that the origin of my problems comes from finances. I don't think I'm suicidal (and considering doing it tonight) because I'm in financially screwed. I think it's because I can't deal with my family anymore. Their intolerance and their beliefs conflict with mine so much that it's actually got me to the point that I no longer want to be near them or related to them. They don't realize that the things they say about trans people hurts me even though it's clearly obvious. Every night I try to sleep but I can't because I know I'm in an unsafe environment mentally and quite likely physically. I want to tell them that I'm trans but I know that at best I'd end up homeless because of their beliefs. It's starting to feel like suicide is my only option to get out of this now. It only takes my mom deciding to search my room like she tends to do when I'm not home and she'll find the hormones. It'll only be a matter of time before they start to notice my body changing. I just want to get out of here. I just want to be myself. I'm at the edge and not sure if I can take anymore of this.