I don't think i can take this anymore...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ozzy Manson, Jun 15, 2010.

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  1. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    i am getting really really bad urges to cut.......but yet i feel i can't, because if you saw my post a while back, i got in trouble at school after somebody told on me after supposedly seeing my cuts...i had to sign a contract stating that i promised not to cut, and they got my parents involved and in more ways then one made my life an even worse living hell. I feel like i need to cut so bad, because my dad just yelled at me a ton for being upstairs after midnight...but yet i know if i do i could be caught because my parents check me all the time now....i don't know what to do...i can't take this anymore....these urges are so strong tonight, i'm practically on the floor in a ball....i can't take this..
     
  2. Sica

    Sica Well-Known Member

    I know i'm gonna be called a dick for this but you need to go talk to someone, eye to eye and distract yourself. Don't lock your self up, cause then the only thing you hear are your thoughts of cutting, no good will come out of it. I'm new so I don't really know your situation but you need to at least try to prove to your family that they can trust you, like they used to, or if you keep pushing they will eventually get tired of it. Your family probably doesn't understand or know how to deal with your condition, so the only thing they know to do is watch you closely as if you had an illness and was bedridden.
     
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Exactly.

    I only cut from time to time to relieve emotional build-up etc. But I guess you probly are too...

    Do your best to distract yourself and hang in there :) gl
     
  4. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    i'm sure you guys are right, i probably do need to talk to somebody. even right now i wouldn't mind that, when normally i would fight to the death not to go...but that's also part of the problem you could say, since school is out i can't see anybody really for free now, and i don't have the money to be able to see a professional of any sort.. when school was in session i was able to see a person every morning, for how ever long i needed. i will try not to lock myself away, but i think i'm too far gone not to. i haven't left the house for 3 weeks, no contact with anybody except 2 of my friends. i'm alone at home all day, and even now i feel so alone in my room. i'm sure my parents are still adjusting to all of this, it has barely been a month since they found out. i wish they would trust me again, at least stop checking so i can cut and feel better....but then there is this part of me that doesn't want to cut anymore, wants to stop, wants the urges to stop and go away..but the rest of me fights on, siding with these hellish urges....it's getting worse now i feel....i'm doing my best to keep distracted. but it's 2 am, i don't have no food, and i'm on my last episode of the super mario bros. super show cartoon from 1989...i don't know if i will make it tonight...thanks for your well wishes though
     
  5. Sica

    Sica Well-Known Member

    You Should Make It Tonight, try going on random websites like FML Website... like I said distract yourself from those thoughts. Entertain yourself if you have to! Or steal your friends and keep them at your house, or suffocate your thoughts by sleeping on it. Either way I wish you good luck and remember it will be tough at first, but it will get better with time and hard work.
     
  6. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    thanks, i will keep trying......i'll see if i can get to sleep maybe, but i get scared of what dreams i might have....i'll do my best, i've gone about a week without cutting now..
     
  7. Sica

    Sica Well-Known Member

    Maybe you won't have any dreams, know what i mean...Its Half a year ago for me since I last cut...though I didn't get help for it, I just kinda grew out of it. Maybe one day, you will too. Night.
     
  8. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    maybe, i sure hope not....i hope i can stop for as long as you have eventually....thanks, goodnight.
     
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