I dont think i can take this anymore..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scar, Jul 19, 2012.

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  1. scar

    scar Member

    Even since i was born my life has been one disaster after another. being adopted. both my adoptive parents dying. getting kicked out my aunts house at 13. being in foster care. having to grow up. loosing friends. being used. being cut. going to jail. being in a complete abusive relationship.. being homeless...

    and im just so lonely. all the time. every minute of every day. I have no real friends. no one to talk to about my REAL feelings.

    life is just so hard. i have not had ONE thing be easy.. i know life isent but i see these people every day with family. and jobs. and friends. a stable place to live. and i have none of that. Just for once id love to be able to call my mom and ask her for help. for once id like to have someone to rely on. but i cant because im alone.

    Its so hard to wake up every morning. I just want to lay in bed and waste away into nothingness. I try to make friends but now n days id be lucky to have a shitty superfical conversation with random people on facebook.

    I move around so much that the friends i made when life was a little better have long forgotten me and are to caught up with there own lifes to give a rats ass about mine.

    i just want one friend. JUST ONE, is that so much to ask for? and its not like im not a good person. yes iv made mistakes but i have good morals im not a mean person. im shy but im allways so nice to people..

    i hurts so bad that no one cares.

    knowing that im all alone.

    knowing that im not going to stick around a few more years waiting for life to change. it hurts too bad.

    i dont know what the point of all this is but i feel really bad right now & i dont wanna do anything stupid caus all i can think about right now is the pain and making it go away///
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member


    I can relate to how you're feeling, even though our lives and problems are different in some ways. I felt so lonely for so many years, watching everyone else living happy lives around me. Even when I had friends, I never felt like I could talk to them about really personal matters. I have been fortunate to meet a few special people that I have been able to confide in, though. Not everyone else is happy and living a perfect life. There are a lot of people out there who know how you feel. Some of us pretend like we're living a normal life, wearing a smile as a mask to hide how we really feel. I too have lost all of my childhood friends. The only friends I have left are those I've made on this site, which may sound kind of sad, but I am grateful for them because they accept me in spite of my issues.

    I am willing to be your friend if you're open to the idea of internet friendships. You can talk to me and I won't judge you. I've been through enough shit of my own, made mistakes, done some stupid things... I have too many sins of my own to even consider casting stones. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to vent to.
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