I've been on dozens of antidepressants. None of them help. My girlfriend acts like she hates me half the time. She's coming off her meds because her doctor is irresponsible and had her on a medication that can be deadly for over a decade. I tried to offer suggestions that I thought might be helpful for dealing with withdrawal and all she did was yell at me for acting like I knew it all when I've never been in her particular situation. (No, but I've done other types of drug withdrawal, and I've read a lot about all kinds of psych drugs.) Then she got mad at me because lately I get upset at things she says a lot and she feels like she always has to apologize. Well first of all most of the things she assumes I think or believe about her or her life are simply not true. And she knows I'm extremely fragile right now. I try not to get so upset over things, but I can't seem to help it. She keeps saying she doesn't want to break up with me, but I know she does. It's just a matter of time. I'm just ruining her life. She'll be better off with me gone. I don't want to get help. I don't want to try more drugs or go back to therapy. I just want this shit to be over. Usually when I'm suicidal, I feel scared about trying to die. Now I feel determined. I don't have many methods available to me, but I hope I can make something work. I feel bad that if I succeed, my mother will be the one to find me. She doesn't deserve that. But in life we don't get what we deserve.