I don't think I have a big problem

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by MissKerouac, Jul 21, 2009.

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  1. MissKerouac

    MissKerouac Active Member

    I first cut about 5 years ago, just because it felt like the right thing to do. I can't explain why I did it but it gave me a major release and I have done it every time I've needed the same release since then. My legs constantly sting against my jeans and I have horrible marks on the tops of my legs and arms. I've become pro at hiding it and sometimes do it more often than others.

    But I've never seen myself as having a big problem with it. Its like I have a stereotype version of someone so self harms. And obviously this picture I have isn't real and I know its not. Its completely dramatized. But because I have none of the traits of this I don't feel like I have a problem. I don't feel like its something I need to do, I feel in control of it. Its something that helps me and while its difficult and I suffer sometimes, I don't want to stop.

    It only occurrd to me that it might be a problem when I finally plucked up the courage to tell my boyfriend. I was very careful about how I told him and he handled it well, but he talks a lot about what a problem it is and I just can't see it that way. It frustrates him a lot and I understand that, but I just can't bring myself to see that I could have a problem.

    Its like I understand I cut every now and then. But I don't see myself as someone who "self harms"
    I know it sounds silly. Is this typical? Does anyone else feel this way?
  2. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    To me it sounds like a problem. It sounds like you are in denial. The fact that you have to 'hide' your cuts, and that your legs and arm sting shows to me that you do have a problem.
  3. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    If you're hurting yourself to cope, its self harm.

    I once felt like I was in control of my self harm too. I told my friends I only did it because I wanted too, I didn't need it.

    It was true for awhile. Now its progressed, its become an unstoppable habit and I feel out of control pretty much every time I cut, I try and try to avoid it and find another release, but in the end cutting seems to be the only solution.

    So I would be careful, because it could progress. It happened to me, and it happened to another friend of mine too. Its like an addiction, like smoking cigarettes - you try it a few times out with your friends or whatever, or maybe you smoke a cig now and then when you're really stressed, and before you know it you do it more and more... Stay in control!!
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