I don't think I have a choice

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Arotho, Aug 3, 2015.

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  1. Arotho

    Arotho New Member

    In Wisconsin, sexual assault statues are broken. I’m vary much close to being branded and labled for the rest of my life, with a slap of jail time. I’m no fucking sexual offender, I was 16 and though it was normal to have sex at that age. Didn’t even know it was illegal. But this is my last night before they come. 2 Years have passed since I was talked to by the police, and just today its official that I’m going to be charged as an adult. My “first appearance” to court is this 20th its already on ccap. I haven’t even been even formally notified of the charges.
    It was never violent, never but It doesn’t matter. Even she disagrees. And to top it all of I just had my doughter born May 4th. Little Sky won’t have her daddy, and her mother is going to miss me.
    But what choice do I have? I can end it tonight. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> will do it easily.
    I wish I had hope.
    I wish I had more time.
    But this may be my last night.
    I can’t live with this braned on me I can’t survive in jail or prison. I just turned 18 I haven’t even drove yet. Done anything special for my life. I always fail. What is the point of continuing the suffering?
    I ethier wait through trail and face a Felony C up to 60 years of prison (witch is life) although I think it has to be violent.
    And what if I make it through trail and get only a few years?
    I live with my parents and my mother doesn’t have many years left If I wait through my sentence I have nothing to come back to.
    I won’t be able to get a job because of my sexual offender status.
    I won’t have a home.
    I wanna live it up tonight get high get drunk. whatever might help just live it up. I don’t want to sit in jail for 2 weeks just to get out and keep waiting for trail. its killing me ever second I think about it.

    I’ve always been a pasfist never gotten into a fight couldn’t hurt a damn soul.
    Why do I deserve this?
    Should I just get a lawyer and shut up?
    Or should I just do everbody a favor and just end it tonight.
    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>.
    But what about my dougther? Regardless she won’t be able to see me anyways.
    I’m at the breaking point I’ve been waiting for 2 years.
    My life is broken.
    I need help but I’m sure they will just throw me in a cell and call it a day. I’d rather go out with a bang than be left to rot in a cell and forgotten.
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I understand you are low and think the only way is do the final commitment. That's no choice as Sky would miss and she would suffer taunts in her school years. Your partner would surely miss you and would prefer you to be around for your daughter. You might think that your world has collapsed around your feet but think the impact it would on your family.

    Yes, you are struggling but your are important. Go to court and accept the punishment. Do the time in jail and when you are released you will have a chance to live your life with your precious. Given the circumstances, surely your defence would be you are naive and your age. You should seek legal advice and see what sort of sentence you would get. Please refrain from doing anything as YOU ARE IMPORTANT AS OTHERS. Yes, others will judge you that people who have nothing better to do but than gossip. Gossip is going to happen but your family are important. If you end up doing time, why don't you do some adult education in order to train yourself into a self-employed job. Even though you might not be given a chance of a job, but being self-employed will let you earn a income. Yes, people will find out about your background but they should judge you on your work not past.

    Please stay strong and just think of the life Sky would have if you did do anything. Take care and be safe.
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Are you saying the court is on the 20th or they taking you tomorrow as its your last night?
     
  4. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    My advice would be to listen to your lawyer. Sometimes silence is your best option, this could even be used against you in a court of law. I feel like the punishment may be to harsh, to be labeled a sex offender but you have so much to live for.
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    While I have no idea what you are being charged with or what the circumstances are - if you were 16 then how old the female involved was - and the years difference in age is usually the biggest factor - here in NY it 4 or 5 years difference in age that makes the difference (a 17 year old has sex with a 14 year old is sexual misconduct and a misdemeanor, while a 20 year old has sex with a 14 year old it is 2nd degree rape even if "consensual"). You are not being charged with a crime for you having sex at 16 and clearly she was not also 16.

    You have not been notified of charges yet formally - so there is no lifetime jail sentence to contemplate at this point- there is nothing to contemplate until you arraigned and actually charged/arrested. It is very scary and very stressful- but at this point there is nothing so no action is warranted at all. Find out what you are being charged with and then talk to your attorney even if it is a court appointed one and find out what is actually going on. More often than not what ends up is nothing after all the threats and discussions - since you are saying was consensual and since the girl got pregnant she is presumably a teen something but whatever the circumstances all of the post about the consequences is based on nothing until you are arraigned so find out the details and talk to attorney before making rash decisions.
     
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