i dont know how to write this down, i dont know how i feel. angrier than i've ever felt, guilt, suicidal, starving. the blame is on me for f*cking up my family's lives, i knew it all along but mum has never said it till now. my bf said last night that i dumped him and couldnt stick by him through trying to get his parents to let us see each other, was that i was only with him for sex, and that now i can just go and have sex with whoever while he does all the hard work with his parents. this made me so angry. i dont have any friends. and i doubt i ever till i leave school. i'm so close to the edge, and this time i might act. tried and failed twice, but they werent real attempts, just cries for help. i feel sick with hunger. is there actually any point in being alive? no friends, no care, now i know for sure my parents hate me for screwing up their lives. i dont belong here. i belong nowhere.