i dont trust you...any of you

[forever_scarred]

i am so sick of being lied to and having people stab me in the back. I dont trust anyone right now. I nnever learn. for once i wish someone would stab me in the heart instead of the back at least then id have my reason. im so so tired of hurting and covering it up like its nothing. it kills me...and it is killing me. not a second goes by where im not fighting myself over whether i should live or die.

 

[Kiba]

Im sorry you are struggling..

 

[total eclipse]

Who is it hun you don't trust hope you know you can trust us here hun you can reach out anytime ok we do not judge here hugs

 

[forever_scarred]

Who is it hun you don't trust hope you know you can trust us here hun you can reach out anytime ok we do not judge here hugs

i never thought it would get to this point. the people here are exactly the reason i dont trust. when i talk to people i thought it was private, i thought it was between me and then. What a STUPID IDIOT i am. I would NEVER stab someone else in the back. I left because I thought it was me. I thought I was the problem. I dont even know if i want to stay here anymore. How can i reach out...how can i talk when I have no idea who i can trust. Whos going to keep my feelings private. I am so close to losing it..ive harmed everynite just to be OKAY for everyone else when they are alone or hurt and i take it. I sit there and fucking take it like im the freaking punching bag...I sit there and i watch so many things i want to say and I dont. I care but i wish i didnt. ive been hurt to the brink of death...im totally heartbroken. Nothing will ever be the same. I question everything i was ever told. caring or not, hurtful or not. If this were real, if we were really in a room Id lose it for real. id break those people the way they have broken me but in the end ill be the one leaving because i cant stand to see them. I wish i had NEVER met them and I wish I had NEVER come to this site. :cry:

 

[Kiba]

I have not been trusting many people too.. I'm sorry you are on the edge as well

 

[forever_scarred]

i cant help anyone, i cant do anything. im so fucked up. i hate it

 

[Kiba]

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.. You can always PM me if u need to

 

[Ladybugaboo]

I know the feeling. Online (even on suicide & depression forums), it's hard to tell who's being genuine or not; but don't let their inconsiderate behaviors and/or mistakes change who you are. You deserve better, and should not be around people who don't appreciate you. Hope you'll be ok. Peace.

 

[Sadeyes]

I have layers of intimacy...I am virtually (sic) always cordial and respectful, unless I need to be otherwise, and let someone in as I feel safe and as s/he deserves...life is messy...relationships are messy and we are going to get hurt...is there anything you can take from this awful experience in a more self-supportive light? I seem to learn more from my mistakes than my successes...I am sorry you are in so much pain, but I do know there are some very good people here

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way...I've been hurt by people here too..and you'd think of all places, you would be able to trust people here. I have been hurt by people all my life, it makes it hard to trust...but we can't close ourselves from people completely. There are still good and trustworthy people in the world.