It's a TV show, and for some reason I feel sick, or crazy for watching it. I've been a victim in the past, so why do I enjoy watching a show full of horrible crime, vivid descriptions and images of other people being hurt in the most horrendous ways imaginable? Is it normal to be this way? How screwed up are we as a society that shows like this top the charts? How screwed up am I as an individual to watch them religiously, even buy the box set every season? How screwed up are the writers to come up with this crap? Are they potential serial killers? They sure seem to know a lot about these types of people, how and why they do what they do. Am I one? I usually have the killer all figured out within the first 15 or 20 min of the show. I even usually sympathize with the killers, with their pain and what they have been through that led them to make these choices. It's not like there is anyone in this world I wish dead or want to kill, not even those who have hurt me in the past, so why watch this? Why watch, and point out what the killer did wrong that led to his capture, and think of how I would do it differently? The only person I've ever wanted to kill was myself, so I know I'm not homicidal, but I'm afraid that there is something wrong with me for watching these shows and feeling more sorry for the killers than the victims. I've even studied real serial killers and felt sorry for them, empathized with them and understood why they felt the need to take their pain out on others. I suffer from depression with suicidal thoughts, not homicidal. So now that I've noticed my interest in shows like this, real crime stories and the like, I'm starting to wonder if there is something that I don't know about myself. Something crazy and darker than just depression.