I don't understand people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FourWalledBox, Dec 6, 2009.

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  1. FourWalledBox

    FourWalledBox New Member

    When people say it's selfish to kill yourself. I'm 15 and I have tried to seek help.
    I was taken out of school six months ago.
    Before I was depressed alot and was kept inside the house because no one lived near me and my parents had no money to go anywhere. So I stayed in the house for 3 years, trying to keep myself together. Even though I knew that lonliness was becoming a bigger issue each day. My dad then told me that we were to move again and this time I had hope. When we arrived, I went to school for two week, But we we're to move again, next week. This was 3 months ago.
    Moving to this place, I placed my hope to find friends. But my mum is taking her time to get the money for us to move, so it seems like we're stuck here for quiet a while.
    I tried deal with my depression for nearly 3 and a half years. It's getting to me and it doesn't help that my family isn't doing anything to help me. I told a few of my friends that I know from previous moves online and they don't know what to say. I believe they won't miss me if I died, afterall i'm not that important to them. I tried to hang on for a long time.
    Even if I was to get friends, I don't think i'll become the person I once was. I have nearly forgotten to have a proper conversation since I hardly talk to my dad and if I told them I was suisidal, i'm sure they will think i'm a burden of some sort just like everyone thinks. There is truely no one to help me and I can't get out. I tried councelling in my old school but that never worked. It seems like suisidal is the answer and to people who says suisidal ain't the answer, HOW DO YOU KNOW. You obviously haven't tried it. I just wish I can have a hobbie of some sort but i'm not aloud out. Just don't know what to do.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It must be vry hard for you not being allowed out Why is that I don't understand your 15. Can you not ask your dad to get you involved in sports in something creative like art anything to meet up with new people. You have this sight now you can chat on line to people here. Maybe buy some art supplies try your hand at art. Get into photography take pictures of outdoors. I would definetly call your doctor and tell him you need something to help your depression. I am sorry you feel isolated but try talking to dad write him a note telling him how loney and sad you are and that you need friends. tell him to sign you up for an activity even if it is a church youth group anything. Maybe seeing it written down from you it will sink into him that you are so sad and need help.
     
  3. I was in 10th grade when the depression started so I know what you mean.
    I wish I had discovered this place then, I needed it so very much.
    Know that here, there are a lot of people that feel the same way, reach out, say hell in the chat room, no matter where you move the internet is still here :).

    I spent every moment of every day in 11th and 12th grade making sure my parents, my teachers, my "friends" couldnt tell that I was suicidal. When it finally came out, and I started seeing a psychiatrist, after 2 years I now am finally able to tell my parents I love them and mean it.
    There is always a way to survive, and there is always a path to live for your own sake.
     
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