i don't understand what's going on

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by frantic, Jan 27, 2012.

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  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i was in the hospital a few weeks ago for being suicidal, and i felt good afterwards, much better. now i'm crashing again, and id on't understand why. nothing bad is going on, there's really no reason. but first i felt some sadness. then it turned into depression, and by now i'm just sick and tired of feeling like this. i don't want to deal with this anymore. i'm tired. i just want to sleep all the time, which is not an option because of the kids. i feel like i can't breathe, like this huge weight is on me. last night i totally lost it and couldn't stop crying.
    i ddon't know where this is going, but i do feel emotionally completely exhausted.
     
  2. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i feel like crap.what's the point in fighting when i just end up in this place again and again and again? i'm tired of fighting. i don't have the strength left to fight. it's totally pointless. i can't do this anymore. i can't go on like this anymore.
     
  3. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    warning trigger!!



    i have such a strong urge to hurt myself. cut, burn, something. ideally i would like to slice my arm wide open. next month it will be a year since i last cut. i don't think i'll make it to that anniversary. if i'm still here at all.
    i just need to get that pain out.
     
  4. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i guess im all alone
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    No, you aren't alone...there are a lot of people who will listen to you and try to help, myself included. I'm sorry that you are wanting to hurt yourself. What happened to make you feel that way?
     
  6. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    that's what' s so frustrating, nothing happened. i don't really have a reason to feel like this. th eonly thing really that happened recently is that my husband lost his job, found a new one, and went from making $5000 a month to making $1200 a month. it's a huge adjustment, i don't know how we're going to pay all our bills, how we're going to live on this. we pay that much alone for our mortgage. that's a constatn worry in my head.

    i'm so tired of the constant up and down. my husband is getting tired of it.

    i just can't cope anymore.
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Did they diagnose you with anything? or give you any medication? Sorry to hear that things aren't so great right now, but I don't think it will stay that way forever.
     
  8. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    yes, ih ave major depressive disorder recurring and borderline personality disorder. i've been on meds for 13 years now. i'm tired of it. tired of everything.
     
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Maybe they need to adjust the dosage or something if you still feel this way.
     
  10. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    see, that's the problem. it comes back. it always comes back.
     
  11. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i cant hold on any longer. its too much. noone cares about me anyway. its time for me to go.
     
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