I don't understand why my suicidal feelings are so strong. They never go away. I used to be happy and now I'm in so much mental pain all of the time. I don't understand why so many people say that "suicide is never the answer". Nobody understands the mental torment that I deal with. It's so bad and it never stops. Maybe most of the time suicide isn't the answer, but in my case death is the only way that my pain will end. I've already been on all kinds of meds. People should have the option to get assistance to end their life, but society is so hell bent on everything can be cured with drugs and that life is so important and it is to a healthy person, but not for someone that has to suffer all of the time. Healthy people just don't understand the kind of mental pain that some of us have to deal with. I'm so alone with this thing. I hurt so bad all of the time while life continues all around me. I'm so tired of hurting all of the time. I used to believe in God and that he watched out over me. Life is so hard. I really should kill myself, but my instinct for self preservation is so strong. I don't understand why some of us have to suffer this way. I was always so very fortunate all of my life and always felt good. Now all that I feel is pain and suffering. I couldn't be happy even if I had a million dollars. I have a decent income and a nice home, but none of that seems to matter anymore. I always knew that people could get depression, but I didn't realize that anyone could feel as bad as I do. I just wouldn't have been able to imagine it. Something is seriously messed up with my brain and don't think that any drug is going to cure it. I'm so screwed and I just don't know what to do. I have a chance to go to this place that is kind of like being in the hospital. I think that I may go even though I don't think that it will help me.