I don't understand

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Melancholy, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Looking at all these threads here, I feel stupid posting. Seems as if I've gone through nothing compared to some of you guys. But I have to let it out somehow.

    For the last three years since I was 14 my stepdad has been "hugging" me, usually late at night and when mum is in bed. He says things such as.."it's only because I love you", and "It doesn't help that you're so beautiful", and I keep thinking that I'm overreacting to him. He never physically forced me to do anything, but if I didn't let him do what he wanted then he would not speak, to me or mum, for literally days. And that meant that mum would get angry at me, because I was making her life a misery.

    I told her one day what was going on, and she accepted it, I think. But she loves him so she just let it continue. Sometimes when she was really upset she would take it out on me, telling me that it was my fault for wearing my school skirt when he was around, etc.

    It got so bad that I decided to move in with dad, though I didn't tell him why. I spent alternate weekends at mums, which were fine, except that my stepdad drove me home on Sundays. Well, after taking detours to deserted places to feel me up. I said no after a few months, and told mum why he would be so angry when he came back. The next day she called to say she had "fallen down the stairs" and broken her nose, also getting a black eye. And it was my fault for saying no.

    He's sent emails to me and dad saying what a stuck up b*tch I was, and that I took everything for myself and left everyone else. Maybe it's true...maybe what he did was payback for all he had done for me.

    I haven't seen him for the last few months, but I can't get over it. And I know that sometime I'm going to have to face up to him again, and I don't know if I could do that.
     
  2. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    Talk to your real dad about whats going on, if you can't speak you can write it down and give it to him, might have to get the police involved as well. He had no right to touch you like that.
     
  3. MAG9

    MAG9 New Member

    Talkin to someone always helps and it seems like the only person you can turn to now is your dad. Go to him for help. I'm pretty sure he will be more than happy to do so.

    Whatever happened is not your fault.
     
  4. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    It was not your fault, you did nothing wrong, you cannot and should not have to protect your mother, you need to protect yourself. Ask your father for help. Don't be afraid to tell someone about what your stepdad did, it was wrong and it was not your fault. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. You will get through this, everything will be okay.
     
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