I am feeling very frustrated as I have been depressed for most of my life. When I was young I used to spend all my time wishing I was dead and I as got older I though it was normal to want to kill yourself. 4 years ago I got even more depressed and I started to properly plan my suicide. I ended up on medication so I didn’t feel so depressed, but I never stopped wanting to be dead. I still don’t understand why I didn’t kill myself. I get very upset as all the stuff you read about depression always says to get help so you don’t kill yourself. I don’t want help so I can cope with the feelings, I just want help to kill myself in a safe way. Where do I get this help? I don’t understand why someone who has wanted to be dead since they were a kid and even while on medication for depression wanted to be dead cant get the support to do it. Where can I get this support?