I don't understand...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by allein zu sterben, Dec 23, 2010.

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  1. I haven't cut for about a week now, but the urge wont go away. I can't get over it, I can't make it stop. I just want to force the blade down through flesh and sinew until the cold steel meets an artery and ends this. I have t draw blood, doesn't that make sense? But I have to, I just, I just have to draw blood, I have to draw blood. This, this doesn't make any sense, I don't understand, why can't I stop??
  2. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    hey fr(ie)drich, :smile:
    welcome or willkommen to the forums. cutting can be quite addicting now thats for sure. there are so many people experiencing the same thing here so youve come to the right place. unfortunately i cant asnwer your question since im dealing with the same thing and i dont understand it myself. so i can relate to you. what exactly do you feel when you cut? what did you feel when you first started and what brought you to the point of doing it the first time?
  3. When I started cutting, I was at odds with my church, struggling with my faith. (Brush up on Romans chapter One, verse Twenty-seven. I think you'll get the idea). I was, and still am, so confused and disillusioned with Christianity and what we stand for, I felt hopeless, lost. I felt like I was going to be seen as sick, wrong somehow. How can we preach peace and salvation when we still hold that people like me are supposed to burn in Hell!? It's either that, or they want to try to "fix" me, as though I'm broken or defective. I just... I just want to kill myself, to end this.
  4. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Maybe because the church is so removed from what Christ was about?
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