I don't understand

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by KatawaShoujoWaifus, Jul 27, 2012.

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  1. Hi, I'm Bekah.

    I have no reason to be unhappy with my life. My family loves me and has enough money to pay for my education. I have 3 okay-ish friends. I do well in school.
    But I want to die.
    I hate myself so much. I project my self-loathing onto others to dodge that fact, but it always comes back to me.
    I hate myself.
    I hate my mother.
    I hate thin people.
    I hate so many things in this world.
    I hate that I'm in limbo.
    I don't deserve to be paid attention to when so many people on here have it worse than I do.
    I'm such a coward.
    I feel guilty every time that I don't kill myself.
    I'm afraid of the pain.
    I hate myself.
    I'm so ugly and fat and worthless. I hate it.
    If only I knew a fast, painless method.
    I'm such a coward.
    <edit mod total eclipse>
    Or something.

    I don't know, I never make sense.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi KatawaShoujoWaifus welcome to SF with depression it does not have to have a reason hun it could be stress that is causing a chemical imbalance in your brain which is causing you to be unstable. talk to your doctor ok hun see what can be done to get you out of this mind set of yours Keep posting ok you will see you are not the only one that feels this way hugs

    We are a supportive community hun one that is pro life so the only ideas you will get are ones of support and care hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...in addition to what TE says, and I do understand what it is like to not have any outward signs that things should not be OK but feel so self loathing...as was said, maybe this is something you can speak to someone about to see how you can change your perceptions of yourself...welcome and I hope you find the support and caring you seek here...and importantly, we value the safety and well being of our members so only supportive information will be posted here (please refer to our guidelines again)
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Hi Bekah. Welcome to SF. Your choice of user name gave me a chuckle and I assure you that doesn't happen easily or often. So many kudos to you. :)

    high-five for obscure anime dating sim references.
     
  5. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome Bekah

    Nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you have self esteem issues and that can absolutely make you feel depressed, no matter how "good" your life is. I'd probably be a happier person if I liked myself more. We all have different problems and different causes for our depression, there is no right or wrong reason for feeling the way that we do. Knowing that other people have it worse than me does not make me any happier about my own situation... you should never compare your life to the lives of others because it is YOUR life and what is important is how YOU feel about it. The purpose of this forum is to offer support and to help people through their issues, whatever those issues may be.
     
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