I really do not wanna die. I am a young, brilliant, beautiful young woman with friends and a lovomg family. I just can't take the anxiety atacks anymore. I need relief. I dont wanna die, but even if I know my life is full of joy and love, I simply cannot take this any longer. Hitting my head with my fists and against the wall seems to be the only thing that mitigates the atacks. I'll keep hitting then, until I eventually turn into a vegetable, in a hospital bed. That would be a shame, really, but I don't have any other option.