This isn't a cry for help. Maybe it is. I don't know.
I feel like my insides are a giant bowl of soup. Crazy soup.
Depression swirling, anxiety bubbling.
Anger spilling over the sides and causing my sadness to flare up.
I can't see any of these things, nor can I isolate them.
As much as I'm telling myself some cliche affirmation, I feel the positivity just sink to the bottom.
I've given so much. Why do they still need to take from me?
I have nothing left. It's dry, empty, shallow and soured.
All these things. None of these things.
Feelings I can't understand, but are so familiar that a sense of comfortability takes control.
Now I'm soaking in the poison.
I just want to drink it.. please. One time. I can do this.
Don't chicken out.
I can hear them all laughing behind me.
Pointing.
Planning.
Offering to help.
Encouraging me.
Daring me.
JUST FUCKING DO IT.
A crumb in a bakery.
A string in an orchestra.
A cough in the ICU.
Fleeting. Failing. Leaving. Lost. Loved. Lost.
Loser.
Lost.
Lost. Lost. Lost. LOST.
I feel like my insides are a giant bowl of soup. Crazy soup.
Depression swirling, anxiety bubbling.
Anger spilling over the sides and causing my sadness to flare up.
I can't see any of these things, nor can I isolate them.
As much as I'm telling myself some cliche affirmation, I feel the positivity just sink to the bottom.
I've given so much. Why do they still need to take from me?
I have nothing left. It's dry, empty, shallow and soured.
All these things. None of these things.
Feelings I can't understand, but are so familiar that a sense of comfortability takes control.
Now I'm soaking in the poison.
I just want to drink it.. please. One time. I can do this.
Don't chicken out.
I can hear them all laughing behind me.
Pointing.
Planning.
Offering to help.
Encouraging me.
Daring me.
JUST FUCKING DO IT.
A crumb in a bakery.
A string in an orchestra.
A cough in the ICU.
Fleeting. Failing. Leaving. Lost. Loved. Lost.
Loser.
Lost.
Lost. Lost. Lost. LOST.