I don't want help!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Nox Immortalis, Nov 9, 2010.

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  1. Nox Immortalis

    Nox Immortalis Well-Known Member

    Deep down I know I need help, but I don't feel like I want it. And getting it would mean losing everything - boarding school - because my parents would bring me home. I wanna do it but I can't think of a foolproof way. I can't find a good pro-choice site, either (if anyone knows of one tell me, or tell me how to access alternate suicide holiday). I have things I want to live for but there's so much adding up on the other side as well, I'm just not sure it's enough anymore. I can't take the pain! I know how cliched that sounds but it's true. I just wanna talk on an unmoderated forum. Does anyone know how I can access one??? I DON'T WANT TO BE TALKED OUT OF IT!
  2. DragonSong

    DragonSong Well-Known Member

    you will not find anyone who will help you die on any forum...that much I do know...I have been where you are and am at that point myself...but there is a way out there that can help you live....I know everyone says the same things like it will get better and people would be hurt by you dying but you know as cliched as that is to ...it is true...nobody wants to see you go an nobody wants to see you hurt like you do...I dont feel like wanting help either but you know we are all here for a reason...we would never have been created if there was not a reason for it...we may be lost to that reason now but in time and with patience i am sure we and everyone in life will find that reason and what their true purpose is in this life...have you talked to any counselors at your school that might help you?...have you tried calling a friend or relative not in the imediate family?....you have the pros and cons you write about but you say in your message that the pros are still in the lead..that means you do have reasons to live and should fight for them.....but you said the key words yourself.."you don't feel like I want it." ...feeling is a hard sense to deal with but to do so you must protect yourself...i would listen if you needed someone to talk with.....we are all here to listen and not judge...give life a chance...
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    You say your parents will bring you home to get help and you will lose everything..
    If you kill yourself you are gonna lose everthing anyway so why not come back to be with your parents and let them help you get through this...
    when you feel better (which is possible with proffesional help) then you can resume your studies later...there's always home schooling or maybe a school closer to your parents..
    there are choices... please don't choose to die yet..
    I understand you're in a lot of pain so get some help and at least try to ease the pain before you even consider taking your life..
    And I know you don't want to leave the pain for your parents..I think I read somewhere you don't want to hurt those close to you..
    there are no words to describe the pain of losing a child to suicide..it's horrific
    talk to your parents, talk to a counselor..go to a hospital ER..keep talking to us...call a crisis line
    but don't hurt yourself....
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Would you be willing to list why you think ending it all is better? How old are you? Why don't you want to get help? Are you ashamed? Feeling pathetic for feeling this way?
  5. Nox Immortalis

    Nox Immortalis Well-Known Member

    I'd rather be dead without this school than alive without it. If I went home, I'd be way worse off. Trust me. I've tried every school option there... nothing worked. And I'm fighting to hang on - really. But they think I'm bipolar and during a "low" I COULD act on impulse..
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Who thinks your bi-polar? If you are then meds can help ...
  7. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member


    i dont want to make you feel guilty for having these kinds of feelings, but i want you to stay, and i want you to be safe, and i want you to get the help you need. please stay with us!

    i'm sure there are psychiatrists that you can see while at boarding school...at least that seems to be the general idea that i'm getting from my own research.

    and....even though i'm probably not much of a help....i really wish you'd tell me when you're feeling really down more often, instead of me finding out on the forum.

    stay strong, and i love you lots! i really hope you can find some kind of help that is SAFE and won't cause you to lose the things you care about.
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