Deep down I know I need help, but I don't feel like I want it. And getting it would mean losing everything - boarding school - because my parents would bring me home. I wanna do it but I can't think of a foolproof way. I can't find a good pro-choice site, either (if anyone knows of one tell me, or tell me how to access alternate suicide holiday). I have things I want to live for but there's so much adding up on the other side as well, I'm just not sure it's enough anymore. I can't take the pain! I know how cliched that sounds but it's true. I just wanna talk on an unmoderated forum. Does anyone know how I can access one??? I DON'T WANT TO BE TALKED OUT OF IT!