I dont want them to win

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mysteries, Apr 26, 2009.

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  1. mysteries

    mysteries New Member

    Last year something happen. i know this might sound small but i got into a fight and 'lost'. ever since that day i have been tormented at school about it. people say smart comments. i was afraid to show my face for a while. i also move school because i couldnt take it. i thought about killing myself shortly after that. its been over a year and people still bring it up in arguments or just recently on my Myspace. I have a Truth Box where people can say thing about me anonymously. I dont know who it was but i didnt like how they said i was dumb and got beaten up. this was 3 months ago and im still hurting because of this. i dont want them to have the pleasure of knowing that im suffering but i am and i dont know what to do. i use to take medicine and drinking takes away the pain but im 19 so its hard to get.

    When debating whether or not suicide is a good idea, i think about my family how they bring it up too me and now they really dont pay me any attention. My mom and i fight all day everyday and she is all i have contact with. I keep telling myself that they will die before i do because i dont want them to win. its hard and i probably wont sleep tonite from hurt and anger. i tired of this and i want it to stop. talking to a professional doesnt help because they dont understand. maybe someone on here will.
  2. EyesOfTheWorld

    EyesOfTheWorld Active Member

    Don't EVER let the bastards win. I come from a bit of a "hippie mafia"/gangbanging background and i can tell you some beef with a bunch of idiots is not worth yout life. I've had to bury way too many friends because of shit like that. Keep ya head up and know that once you're out of school, the world is yours, if you want it bad enough
    No limits, ever.
    Love, EOTW/"Eric"
  3. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    I would realy suggest some kind of martial arts, I'm serious, think about it, it costs roughly $50 dollars a month, but it's an investment in your self confidence. There are kids and other older beginers there, I did Aikido for a couple of months.
  4. mysteries

    mysteries New Member

    I dont think i could fight even if i did. i dont have lots of self esteem even though people tell me im pretty and things like that, i dont have a high self imagine. this still torments me, i think about it every minute. the things people say. they have nothing else to talk about because im a good kid so this is it. Thanks so much for the kind words.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2009
  5. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    Get rid of the mother fucking truth box. If someone has something to say, let them say it to your face. My friend killed himself back in October, and he had one of those god damn things on his page. Seriously, get rid of that thing.
  6. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    I know it had to have contributed to it. There were a lot of people that didn't like him and said stuff behind his back. After he died, I remember someone saying that he was annoying and glad that he was dead, blah blah. not cool! He was a nice guy. He just had self esteem issues. He had sort of a macho, dirty hairy facade that he put up. He wore leather jackets, smoked cigs, drank, colleced knives, etc. Deep down though, he was just insecure. People didn't take all that at face value and tormented him for these fronts he hid behind, which were blatantly obvious. He's dead now, in part, from stupid people leaving anonymous comments on his myspace.


    Here's his profile if you want to see.
  7. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    Dude, you're 19? You're worried about your rep!!? Common man, your not a child anymore, losing a fight means NOTHING. What are you doing fighting at your age? The only people who fight as adults are criminals, unless of course its self-defense, which is what I hope you were doing, defending yourself.

    So if you were attacked or provoked into a fight and lost that doesn't mean anything. Anyone can learn to fight good. Let me tell you something, it doesn't mean anything in the adult world. Forget about these punks. And even if some of these people making fun of you are people you used to respect, so the hell what forget about them.

    What was this fight over? Are you in college?
  8. mysteries

    mysteries New Member

    this has nothing to do with my rep cuz i never had one. this has to do with how people torment me with their words and actions. the bitch pushed me first and i hit her in the back of the head and we went at it. we where in high school then. around here everyone fights to solve their problems. people pick out random people and fight them for no reason. the truth box is now gone, i hate when they wont say it too my face.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 28, 2009
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Wow at least you stood up to yourself. Even if you lost, you had the guts to fight back and to me that's shows how strong you are. Usually when people pick on you its cause their jealous. They can see you being successful and that pisses them off so they lash out in the hopes to bring you down to their slimy level. Dont let them win...you are way better than any of them.

    And I can safely say that once your out of highschool, things are going to get better...
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