i dont kknow what to do with myself anymore. everything has imploded. my biological family has decided that i am socially unacceptable and too much of a bother to continue associating with. they dont want a fucked up lesbain daughter. for the past ten days i have been living with my them for the sole reason of needing to have surgery in the not too distant future. when i leave here, i loose all financial support from my mother and stepfather as well as my biological father. and my health insurance. my parents currently refuse to pay for my medication [lamictal, lexapro, concerta, ritalin] because they feel that it s unnecessary. i've got bipolar, add, a severe panic disorder and severe social anxiety and those meds have been the best thing that have happened to me and have probibly saved my life. my real family is more than 2500 miles away and im stuck here. i have a job in colorado waiting for me and a place to live with my bestfriend and her family. but due to haivng been sick the entirty of spring semester, i've managed to fail out of university. i cant sleep here and i know that lack of sleep exacerbates my various crazies. every time i fall asleep i have horrible nihtmares and wake up shaking in a cold sweat. i guess the sequence of events was failing out/fucking up => being informed that i was unacceptable and thus no longer wanted =>leaving my family => dealing with my parents => being informed that i need surgery => being informed that my plan for school and figuring things out was not viable => being informed that i would lose my health insurance when i leave => going off my meds => having absolutely no idea what to do with this whole situation. i just sit and cry and listen to music that my friends and i would listen to in a futile attempt to make myself feel better. to anyone who reads this, please excuse my spelling.