I don't want to be alone anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BenJ, Apr 30, 2011.

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  1. BenJ

    BenJ Active Member

    " I want someone to love me, for who i am. I want someone to need me, is that so bad?"
    I've been through a couple really hard weeks. My girlfriend of two and ahalf years broke up with me two weeks ago. We spent every minute together for 2 and a half years. I have had little to no human contact in the last two weeks. Ive only left my house to go to school, and I have no friends there.
    All I ever really wanted was someone to kiss me, and hug me, and to cuddle with at night. I can't have that. Theres a gapping whole in my heart, with nothing to fill it. I want to kill myself. I've wanted to for the last two weeks, I really have no reason to be alive right now.
    People keep on telling me that I'm smart, I have high marks, I'm going to university in a year. Well none of that matters now. I only wanted to go to university to be with her. I never really did try that hard in school, I did keep my marks above 90, but after we started dating i got them up all to 97+, so that I could impress her and her parents. Now that shes gone theres no point in trying. What good is being smart if you have nobody to share it with.
    They tell me to read books and watch movies, but I can't. I can't read, I hate reading, I hate it so much because I know that no matter how good it is it has to end, same thing for movies. Why does everything have to end?
    I have nowheres to go and no friends to see, im helpless lonely and i have nobody. I just want to die.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm so sorry for the end of your relationship. heartbreak is terrible.

    i've had my heart broken a few times. each time i thought i'd never get over it. but i did. sometimes it took a really long time. it's important to be gentle with yourself as you are grieving. don't hurt yourself. you are in enough pain as it is. in fact, i'd take a guess that what you really want right now is for the pain to stop, rather than actually being dead.

    please hang on. keep posting in the forums and get to know us. let us support you as you start to heal. if you are in real danger of hurting yourself promise me you'll call a hotline or go to the ER. they will take care of you until you can take care of youself again.
  3. BenJ

    BenJ Active Member

    I can't promise anything, i'm sorry.
  4. BenJ

    BenJ Active Member

    I just need to talk
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