Every day of my life is a waste. I literally just sit around and do nothing. I'm not even sure what I want anymore, since I've realized that all of the things I used to want are things I can't have. I don't have any goals or ambitions anymore. I contribute nothing to the world. I just mooch money from my mom and am a burden to her. I've tried looking for a job. I can't find one. I've tried working out and getting in shape. I feel better physically, but mentally and emotionally I still feel awful. I don't know what else to do with myself. I don't know how to stop dwelling on all the things that hurt. People say to talk about them, but I don't want to talk about them anymore. Talking just makes things worse. If I weren't such a coward, I'd already be gone. But the fear of failure continues to keep me here. What if it just makes things worse? And how would I ever face my family after a failed attempt? Sorry for my rambling...I know it's just the same crap that I always ramble about. I've just been feeling really bad the last few days and I needed to get this out.