i don't want to be here

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thissureisreal, Nov 30, 2007.

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  1. thissureisreal

    thissureisreal New Member

    i really just don't feel like living anymore. i never had. i have never thought to myself "thank god i am alive!" in fact all i have been thinking for a while is the opposite. i feel that life is a waste of time, a decoy from true peace. i just want to die already. my family is going on a trip this christmas, and we already have plane tickets and all, so i am not going to kill myself before then due to the fact that it would destroy the trip and christmas and all. i don't even know if i could go through with it because i know how much it would destroy my mom. but then again living my life is destroying me. such a dilemma.
  2. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member

    Hi From JayJay from the North East of England. Just whats going wrong in your life ! Thanks for being here. You are with friends now. As you will see, each one of us has our own heavy burden, but we talk and share it !

    No one here will ever judge you or ever abandon you.

    So whats going wrong ?

    Stay safe

    Jay jay
  3. thissureisreal

    thissureisreal New Member

    nothing is really wrong, you know just the drama of life. i will list out a bunch of things that have been troubling me recently though:
    -the girl i am in love with is fucking with my head. (i am gay by the way but that isn't a problem for me right now. my family accepts me and so do my friends and people at my school.)
    -i have no relationship with my dad.
    -i know i will not amount to anything.
    -i hate how i am expected to get all A's just like my older sisters and how i am supposed to follow in their footsteps.
    -i hate how i am always distancing myself from my friends.
    -i hate how i am not getting the grades i should be getting.
    -i hate how i am letting down the people around me.
    -i hate how i am as a person.
    -i hate how my mind works.
    -hate how i am not dead already.
  4. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member


    Thanks for your quick reply.

    Y'know (North East England Phrase)

    I respect you so much, I really do. This is what they call S**T. I think that everyone on this forum is well covered in the stuff.

    When I think of the S**T covering me, I try to mentally make it smell nice and imagine that it can be cleaned off at some point. That is why I keep going.

    You've listed a number of things that are going badly wrong. Can you list things that are going well for you ?

    Take care !

    Jay Jay
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