i don't want to be suicidal, why the hell would i do this for attention

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kroque93, Aug 20, 2012.

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  1. kroque93

    kroque93 Member

    how can anybody?? it pisses me off hearing that
    honestly not the talking type with people
    my therapist is pretty good but it feels late

    it scares, this feeling like life is set in stone because I'm depressed, I've always been. or that i have mental issues or whatever

    anyone know this? you try to avoid thinking about/ deny all the time "what if having a shitty childhood means I'm doomed to be depressed and what if I'm not meant to get better"

    i try to function to the best of my ability everyday
    sometimes my OCD gets in the way but its not terrible
    well i i hate not being able to hold it together right

    feeling a lot more hatred for my parents everyday. I know there's no point to this but they ruined my life. I don't want to think about it anymore i want to move on more socialized, achieve things i have had in mind

    what the fuck is wrong with me why do i keep fearing lately that i can't change anything??? its always in the back of my mind; i THOUGHT getting betters what happened if you attempted rebuilding your mind, etc or whatever. i still feel stuck. I'm 26 now I want to start living.

    does anyone know what to do with these kinds of thoughts they're recurring a lot
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It is unfortunate that there are many situations where this is used for attention (I am not saying you... I am just stating facts in a generalization in order to give foundation as to why people would say that). Even in the mental health care industry I have heard that stated by professionals, who really should not go by that generalization, regardless if it has validity in various situations, because every claim of suicidal intentions should be taken seriously.

    I don't believe that life is set in stone. We each have the power to change our own destiny. That is not saying that it is easy to do, but it is saying that it can be done. You are in therapy and you say your therapist is pretty good, so hang onto that and continue the road forward. If your parents are a cause to ill feelings for you, stop calling or visiting them. You're 26 and can make your own decisions (I have stopped visiting and calling my own mother - she no longer exists to me due to circumstances... and it helps me cope, you may find the same results).

    Have you ever seen a road construction crew building a new highway? Every time I have, it seems that it takes them FOREVER to get anything done. I know one road near me still under construction and it has been going on over 10 years now since they started. What takes them so friggen long? Apparently it takes time beyond what I understand - and this too could be the case for you, and others, who are attempting to rebuild and/or seek out wellness.

    Our pasts can loom on us and give us bad reminders, but we can also push those bad thoughts down and move forward. The bad feelings may never go away, but we can always carve out a small space for peace.
  3. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    i'm kind of going thru the exact same thing you are. seems like my parent ruined my life in different ways. earlier i used to think i was alright but now i feel like i'll always remain sad no matter what happens. i'll tell you what i'm going to do. i''m going to try and be friends with new people and hang out with them as much as possible. i'm never going to give up trying no matter how much i'm led down. i'm not giving in to this sick joke that god played on me.
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    That is the right course of action to take. We can also learn from our own parents what things we should never do with our own children (whether you have kids now or some day in the future). Family should be the most important bond we have, but when it is not... then we can move on from it and tell ourselves that it is not us ourselves who are in the wrong, but rather it is them. Don't give them hate or name calling or vile reactions - just sever the ties and move on from it. The best 'revenge,' in my book, is in finding happiness without those who have harmed us and replacing the bad with good. I hear in here a million times how everyone is no good... but that is not true. There are wonderful good people out there, but it's like a scavenger hunt sometimes to find them. Keep the chin up and conquer. Good luck!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2012
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I'm 27, and only recently fell into the thought process. But I have my ambition, and my motivation, and if you can find something to inspire you, go for it. Life is there to be lived. Live it your way, and you'll be happier than trying to live by another's examples.
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