I don't want to be trapped

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MeowC, Feb 2, 2014.

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  1. MeowC

    MeowC Well-Known Member

    My mother is 46 years old and has never moved out of her mothers house. She always tells that she'll force me to be the same way and that ill never escape from her.
    She won't allow me out of the house for almost anything, my aunt has to sneak to pick me up tomorrow so I can get an id since I just turned 18. I don't have anywhere to go, all my family is to close to my mom for me to move in with any of them. I would o with my boyfriend but I'm afraid she might do something like call the police or make things up in order to make it to difficult for me to stay there and I don't want to risk something happening to him.
    I need to know of any options I have so that I can get out as soon as I can.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    honestly.... first thing is.... if you are going to get a place of your own, you need an income of your own.... do you have a job or other income coming in? do you have your own bank account or is your mom co-signer of the one you have?

    assuming you do have an income and have your own bank account.... need question... transportation.... do you either have a car, funds for taxi or bus fare, or a friend/relative you can depend upon to take you around everywehre you need to go and get you to those places on time until you do get a car.... or alternatively, are u in good enough shape to walk or ride bike everywhere you need to go?

    assuming you can answer yes to at least one of those things..... next up is this (assuming you are in the United States)

    1. If it is necessary that you move out right away, you can always go to a shelter. I have been in a shelter before and do not recommend it unless it is something you cannot find a way around doing. In my experience, I was charged rent to stay there, had to be out of the shelter during certain hours of the day, food was not always good to eat and would make you sick at times, if you were a female with children the children had to be with you at all times (including when you took a shower, went to the bathroom, or went to work) and if you were a man and had children you could not enter the shelter unless you could find care for your children, the women were often raped, i know of one person that was killed, there were numerous fights... i just really do not recommend it unless its somethign you must do)

    2. you can apply for low income housing but this has a long waiting list usually

    3. you can look for an apartment or townhouse or house that is within your budget. (keep in mind rent should be no more than 1/4 - 1/3 your total monthly income so you can afford to pay for your food, utilities, medical insurance, and any medication or doctor bills you may have... along with phone or internet if you want that ... and if you have a car you will also need to add in car insurance and gas.... if you have no car but use other motored transportation you will need to include the fee for that... if you walk, then that is relatively cheap so long as you make sure you have enough fluids and good gear to do so and are walking in safe places with protection if you need it.

    4. you can look around for someone advertising for a roommate.... be extremely cautious if you do this... not everyone can be trusted... so don't go into it blindly

    5. you can look for a motel room to rent ... some motels will rent out by the month for a relatively cheap rate... works out well for some people....

    these are all the things i can think of atm besides the less smart things such as getting a tent and living outdoors or etc... i do not recommend that at all

    oh one other thing... if a friend or relative will let you move in with them that you can trust ...

    hope this helps... good luck and take care
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you are 18 you are an adult and you can do whatever you chose to do . Get a job so you can get your own place and get away from her don't let her have access to w here you move or your phone number There is nothing she can do you are an adult now
  4. MeowC

    MeowC Well-Known Member

    I want to get a job and go to a cheap cosmetology school so I can get away but I feel like if I do that it'll take so long before ill have enough money saved before I can leave, and then whenever I tried to do anything she doesn't want me to she gets very violent and angry, she's much bigger than me and I wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight so I've always been afraid of going against here.
    My aunts are trying to get me a small cheap car to get me started with growing up and getting out
  5. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    You are potentially being abused.

    What victim support groups are there locally. Contact them and they will guide you.

    Also they will advise of support the rest of family may actually need even without them realising it.
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