I dont want to bring attention to myself but I thought it would help if said somethin

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CW_79, Sep 6, 2007.

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  1. CW_79

    CW_79 New Member

    I am a 28 year old male and I want to die.

    My first suicide attempt was 3 years ago. I tried to cut my wrists....but I didnt cut hard enough.

    I rebounded from that point, and when the idea of taking my own life has come up again, I have always been able to convince myself that it is not the answer.

    However, each time the idea comes up, suicide seems to be the right option more and more (if that makes sense at all).

    I feel guilty for being unhappy. People in Africa and Asia have it bad. But I still am said.

    I have felt my entire life that I have been alone, and I feel now...that that condition will never change.

    I was sexually molested, I've been raped, abused, teased, just about everything.

    I've tried to think about what would make me happy, and thats a normal life, or some sense of peace. But I dont think that's ever going to happen.

    I feel bad telling the people that I would consider my friends how sad I am because I feel like I'm just bumming them out, so I have started to keep how I feel more to myself.

    I feel guilty for feeling so miserable. I'm not homeless, diseased or unemployed. so many people have it worse. yes this is the way I feel.

    How I want do die has changed, and now that I have recently found sites that index such information, the thought has been on my mind more and more.
    I just want an end to all the sadness...I dont even think death will resolve that though.
     
  2. ohnotagain

    ohnotagain Member

    Re: I dont want to bring attention to myself but I thought it would help if said some

    Gday from Australia,
    Of course dying is not the answer. You have had a very unfortunate existence so far, but you are only 28 and your experiences can help so many people.
    I too have been in simlar circumstances and attemped suicide several times. But I have come to realize that it obviously wasnt my time to go all those years ago, I am here to serve a more important purpose. I am not religious and am not sure I believe in the bible, but I am a believer that we are the makers of our own destiny. We are the only ones who can take control of our lives.
    I still get the occasional bout of depression but thanks to medication I am able to control the thoughts of self hatred etc.
    I am now a very happy Mum to 2 boys. (One is Autistic) and that is where my purpose has led me.
    You will find your purpose too. Talk to your friends and family. Explain to them your thoughts and fears, and if they dont take you seriously, or they back away, then find a support network elsewhere. This forum is a start. Every day you wake up is a bonus.
    Take Care Mate. I am here for you
     
  3. Aequitas

    Aequitas Guest

    Re: I dont want to bring attention to myself but I thought it would help if said some

    well, death doesn't solve anything..... because, what can you feel when you are dead?

    Yes, you have it terrible right now... and yes, it's hard.... but, how would the happy moments of your life feel if you didn't have any downs?
     
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Re: I dont want to bring attention to myself but I thought it would help if said some

    welcome. sometimes we think death is the only answer but it isnt :hug:
     
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