My mother is my reason for living. Plain & simple. I love my dad but me & my mom are very close. She first was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 46. I am now 46. She had a lumpectomy, radiation & a year of chemo. All was good until Sept 2004. She was diagnosed with a "new" cancer in the same breast. Had a mastectomy & no further treatment. A few weeks again, she noticed a hard lump in the middle of her chest. Biopsy shows it's a recurrence of the 2004 cancer. She has a CT of the chest/abdomen & a bone scan on Tues to see if it's spread. I have friends who are there for me but I'd rather be alone.....I have had suicidal feelings most of my life. Medication helps me "exist". Not sure when I last "lived". I have no kids, no husband, no boyfriend. I have nothing keeping me here except my mom. When she goes, I will have to too. It just seems to be happening a little sooner than I would have liked.