I don't want to but soon I will have to...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twistedwhispers, Jun 26, 2011.

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  1. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    My mother is my reason for living. Plain & simple. I love my dad but me & my mom are very close. She first was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 46. I am now 46. She had a lumpectomy, radiation & a year of chemo. All was good until Sept 2004. She was diagnosed with a "new" cancer in the same breast. Had a mastectomy & no further treatment. A few weeks again, she noticed a hard lump in the middle of her chest. Biopsy shows it's a recurrence of the 2004 cancer.

    She has a CT of the chest/abdomen & a bone scan on Tues to see if it's spread.

    I have friends who are there for me but I'd rather be alone.....I have had suicidal feelings most of my life. Medication helps me "exist". Not sure when I last "lived". I have no kids, no husband, no boyfriend. I have nothing keeping me here except my mom. When she goes, I will have to too. It just seems to be happening a little sooner than I would have liked.
  2. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    You sound a lot like me. I'm 47, no kids, husband or friends and my mom is dying of brain cancer.
  3. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry to hear that.

    My life just sucks.....suck bad & sucks hard.

    I know I will eventually "do it".............which is scary. I don't
    want to fail.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I hope your mom beats the cancer. :hug:
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