i dont want to commit suicide ı just....

i just want the pain to end.....ı know that ıt wıll never end...so what am ı lıvıng for....acting like a happy person when ı am not a one....wantıng help from god doesnt help...wantıng help from therapist wont help....ı have no courege to overcome thıs paın....my famıly knows what ı have and they are upset...ı just upset everyone all the time...how does people manege to be happy ın lıfe... i thınk that they are lucky..Me and these people ın thıs forum are unlucky...thx for readıng my post..

 

I agree... it's really difficult to look at other people who are seemingly able to enjoy life while we have to sit back and wonder if ours is some big cruel joke.

I, too, do not want to die. I just want to enjoy the things I used to be able to enjoy and bring some sense & meaning back into my life.

 

Hey same here. I get so angry and frustrated at everyone my age so damn happy, having the absolute time of their lifes whereas I am so miserable and pathetic and already contemplating suicide. I don't want to die, but I feel like I have no choice, that I am trapped, that I was raised wrong and so have turned out very very screwed up compared to everyone else and so can never ever have a happy, normal life. And then I can never tell anyone here or elsewhere the details of why I am screwed up and inferior because I feel so ashamed of how messed up I really am. Thats really my reason for wanting to kill myself. And then I am also so afraid of death and if perhaps I will go to a negative afterlife or whatever. I'm just trapped and suffering. :mellow:

 

i forgot where i heard this but wen i always compare how miserable i am and feel to how happy everyone else seems i try to think about that wen i compare myself to other peoples happiness im compairing the fake smiles that they put on and the thick protective shells (figurativly speaking) they have to how i REALLy FEEL and how hurt and depressed i REALLY am and not just my fake outer image. yea i kno it probly sounds stupid but just tryin to help

 

My first question is why do you pretend to be happy? You should never pretend in life. If you are upset/sad/angry that is ok! If your therapist isn't helping, seek someone new. Find someone who specifically specializes in suicidal thoughts. Also see your doctor. 9 out of 10 suicides happen because of a chemical balance in ones brain sending signals to have these thoughts. You can't control if you have this, but you CAN help yourself if you do. The key is to take the first step and call.

My brother in law shot himself 7 yrs ago and in the autopsy it was revealed he did have a chemical imbalance and if only he had seeked help and with medication he most likely would be alive today. But for whatever reason, he didn't. Now his 3 boys are growing up without there father.

Please don't think that no one will care because you can't even imagine the devistation this will leave on your loved ones.

How old are you if I may ask?

Life IS worth living and we all go through hard times in life and just simple depression for no given reason. There are ones that have said well nothing bad is going on in my life right now, i'm just sad. It could be a deep hidden meaning that find the right person and they can pull it out of you to help you deal and have that happy life that you see others might be happening.

Remember, not everyone is happy all the time some just hide it the way it sounds as if you might be doing. Just don't hide it any longer.

Best of Luck to you and feel free to contact me if you like.

 

well i am 18 yrs old now...my problem ısnt depression..ı am not goıng to tell u my problem becouse even when ı thınk about ıt seems stuıped and unreal...but there is a bıg problem !!!...and ı wıll ask u a questıon...who are u?_who are u and u want to help me...ı dont know u....ı never seen u..so whats the fu...ıng reason!!!!....ok ı wıll tell u my rproblem....I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE ...I GO TO UN IVERCITY COME BACK AND I DONT TALK TO NO ONE...I HAVE SHYNESS OK!!!....I FEEL SO PAINFULLy shy .....EVERYONE THINKS I AM A FREAK PROBABLY....FROM THE DAY I HAVE BORN TILL NOW I AM SHY AND WILL DIE SHY!!!!!..........I HAIT PEOPLE MY AGE WHO TALK WITH CONFIDANCE .AND ARE SOCIAL PERSONs........I AM FEELING TIRED OF THIS SITUATION.Ç..BUT U CANT DO NOTHJING...MY FAMILY CANT DO NOTHING...I CAN DO IT ONLY......but ı cant cuz ıts too hard!!!!!!..........its hard.......i cant choose the depertment that ı want...ı cant go to places where ı want to go...ı cant have frıends who ı want to be my frıends....i cant be my self...becouse of thıs psychologıcal ilness that i have.....:shy:
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Dear life,I don't know if you're going to want to listen to me or are going to believe me but I'll try anyway.I don't think your problem is stupid because obviously it's a problem and it's causing you concern and bothering you so don't think that it's nothing compared to what other's may be suffering.Everyone has their private pain and what you have is no different to other's but obviously it's a concern.
You have a problem with shyness this is a very common thing and you're no freak,it's perfectly a natural thing to suffer from but don't fear you can make inroads into this and I mean really go so far into fixing this.You may not think so and be thinking I'm just saying this and why am I bothering etc,but you want to know why?Because I was like that years ago I still have my fair share of problems of course and If I told you about me you'd certainly think how twisted I am.

 

i know its just words, but sometimes words are the best things for us, and i can relate to not wanting to suicide but just wondering what i did to end up in the life that im in now. sitting back and watching other coast through life without a single problem. but its okay. you're still here. you're still fighting.
and in the end, when things are better, you'll have a lot more life experience and a lot of better ways to cope with everything that life still has to offer you that someone else might not have.
please take care.
xx.

 

Thanks a lot to everyone...i am goıng to try better and try to survive....i love everyone