I don't want to die anymore (but I still write here for a reason)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by just_me_again, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    I feel a little bad for continuing to write about every petty emotion and struggle I have day to day. On a fundamental level, I don't want to die. If I were attacked tomorrow, I'd fight tooth and nail because I'm a survivor. I fight my highs and lows and I reach out when I truly need it. I'm not happy but for once I feel like I could be. I'm not pathetically failing my classes. I live in the shadow of a bad childhood but I'm slowly shaping it into something that I can learn from.I'm handling the VERY recent loss of a man that was truly a fixture of my childhood well, all things considered. I have a crush on a boy that bent over backwards to make me laugh today and it worked.

    So why do I still write?

    I think I want to prove to people that I can see a way out of this dark hole now, and even if they can't, they can know it exists. I want them to know that I want to help them and want to take care of them. I just don't know how else to do it right now.

    Does that make any sense? I don't know, which is why I'm posting it in this section.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for the update and for letting others see that there is hope in getting out of the darkness