... I just want the pain to go away. Every day I feel myself getting worse and worse. I cry at work (thank God no one can see me in my cubicle), my fiancial problems have risen to critical levels and I don't know what to do. I may be unemployed again in two weeks and if that happens, I'm fucked. My parents want me to move home and I'd rather die than do that. I feel as if I'm causing my family pain and grief and I'm tired of making them suffer. I feel ashamed to be wasting my life the way I am. I wish I could give it to someone else who could live it better than I could. As usual, I'm alone and I don't know who I can turn to. I wish I could relax and forget my problems just for a little while. The book my therapist told me to read is only making things worse. I want someone to hold me. I'm a weak man and I'm ashamed of it. I wish someone would hold me.