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I dont want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dunbar, Jun 6, 2012.

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  1. Dunbar

    Dunbar Active Member

    But I dont want my life. Maybe it was all the drugs i used to take but my mind just feels so empty and sluggish. Im a really bright guy, people always are amazed at how smart I am but I dont know why. I have trouble putting a sentence together sometimes and have stopped even trying to socialise because making conversation is too painful and unbearably hard work. What's weird is that I can talk to people online without any problems, I play games and have online friends but when it comes to joining them on talk software i just shy away. Sorry, im rambling on a bit here.

    Recently ive been drinking every day just to kind of try to forget about everything but it really doesnt work. I need a job but fail any interview I get, I'm in uni as a mature student but im not getting the grades I need. It's all getting too much and my mind frequently turns to suicide. I have a few options that I think of with that and I dont think I will last the summer. Theres so much more but really, my head is just an entangled mess. Like someone else on here said- I wish I could start over, I wish I had known what was going to happen to me, and I wish i even cared.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Alcohol is a depressant and is more than likely contributing to many of the issues you have raised. Have you considered adding a wellness program to your daily routine? It's definitely worth giving it a shot for six months or so to see if it provides you improvement. One cannot give up if they have not tried all potential alternatives.
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    Great advice from pickwithaustin. Alcohol is a depressant and could be contributing to your depression. Be careful of withdrawal symptoms if you do decide to stop drinking. It definitely isn't helping. It is never too late to start over. I, like you, have always been smart but I never finished school or anything like that and now I'm disabled and can't work.

    But Im not giving up Dunbar! Neither should you.
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