I don't want to do this anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Mar 29, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It isn't over...

    I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want people involved it scares me. I don't want to see a counsellor and I don't want a psychiatrist. I don't want to take drugs. I can't not though. I am scared they will force it on me. There is talk of another mental health act assessment flying around and I don't really know what to do. When Dr T mentioned it I said I had had one on the 136. He said it would be different. Does anyone know the difference? As far as I am aware a MHA is 2 docs and an AMHP. That's who was there. Is there a difference from when one on a 136 to other types?

    Sam called uni today. I don't know what she said but uni called me and said they wanted to arrange another meeting next week.

    I don't want all these people involved. I can't handle it!!!

    So in my little weirded out brain I am thinking this meeting at uni is just an excuse to get me somewhere to do the assessment. I worry that going to see Sam tomorrow it's just an excuse to do an assessment.

    Can I just discharge myself and stop attending? What would happen?
  2. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    Hard to advice on this, it sounds like those people are trying to help you, maybe go with it and see where it goes ? You can always back out later ?
    Don't worry about what people will think of you, If you think you have a chance to get some help then use it.
  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I don't think Sam would trick you in to going to see her but really do a MHA.. same with uni etc. Do you see Sam privately, or is she on the NHS or a clinic or something? I guess it'd depend really and as far as counselling is concerned I'd say that it's your decision whether or not to attend or continue with the counselling.. no one can force you to go to counselling. However Sam is also entitled to break confidentiality should she be concerned for your wellbeing, and it sounds like she's doing this already anyway.. so i really think it's up to you if you want to see Sam tomorrow.. it may help to see her and see what she told uni?

    I know it's hard to see or accept but all these people (Sam, psychiatrist, uni) are trying to help and support you through this. Even if it means going for another MHA (sorry, i don't know the difference or anything) it might not be a bad thing. I guess it's also your right to not see a psychiatrist or take medication but they could may well step in if/when your mental health deteriorates further or if you're a higher risk to yourself.

    Know it's really scary time right now but i hope you'll be as honest as you feel able to be, and accept the help and support that's being offered.

  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    can't answer your question, just know i don't want to lose you. please accept help...
  5. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I hope you find the calm to accept the help. You're right - this isn't over, some things will change whatever the outcome, but that does not detract from goals and desires...

    These people are not against you - they are trying to do what is best. Just please try and be honest with them as to where you're at.
  6. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I can't see how they wold know it has deterioated further. My self harm methods don't require hospital treatment. I am just sick of it all. I am really hating the amount of people involved now and I would rather none be.

    I know Sam wouldn't do that, she's not even linked to NHS but I get paranoid about still. Every time I see a police car or ambulance I think they are for me and I am paranoid that the police are following me. I can rationalise and know they're not really but there is still a part of me that thinks it's possible. I hate my head. It's mega screwed up!
  7. Kodye414

    Kodye414 Member

    Last time I told someone they where like shut up abt tht or I will have u locked up for talking like tht so I put a fake smile for every one I just dnt want to b alive is there some thing wrong with it or what y can't I do what I want but I do love my fam I'm just still dcide what I'm going to do I just don't prefer life work all my life to achieve Lonely ness and die old
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