I Don't Want To Feel Better

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Godsdrummer, Feb 20, 2009.

  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I was talking with a coworker about my divorce, my sucicide attempts, my drinking etc....and she was telling me how to just be patient, I will survive this and things will get better.


    Cause if things get better then that means I will have to let go of the one thing in this world I hold more dearly than anything, and that is my wife.

    I don't want to be ok with this divorce.
    I don't want to be ok with seeing my kids only on every other weekend.
    I don't want to be ok with seeing my dog even less.


    I wish I could turn back the clock. There are so many places in time I could turn that clock back to. Make things right.

    I am enduring a pain worse than death...and with each passing day the pain becomes more and more intense.

    I want the pain to end. I do want to get better. But not at the cost my wife is forcing me to pay.

    I want to get better mentally but not with an acceptance that I could be homeless in 2 or 3 months.

    I am sick and tired of living like this. Damn it.
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    whats done is done mate

    i know the harsh reality of life doesnt help but thats the truth of it.
    your friend is right, with time you will feel better about things, when i went thru this i was told its like a grieving process and its true.
    you have lost something dear to you and now you dont want to see a future without her, but the fact is your kids need their dad and seeing them every other weekend will be hard at first but it will come easier, just give yourself time to heal.