I was talking with a coworker about my divorce, my sucicide attempts, my drinking etc....and she was telling me how to just be patient, I will survive this and things will get better. I DONT WANT THINGS TO GET BETTER!!!!!!! Cause if things get better then that means I will have to let go of the one thing in this world I hold more dearly than anything, and that is my wife. I don't want to be ok with this divorce. I don't want to be ok with seeing my kids only on every other weekend. I don't want to be ok with seeing my dog even less. :sad: I wish I could turn back the clock. There are so many places in time I could turn that clock back to. Make things right. I am enduring a pain worse than death...and with each passing day the pain becomes more and more intense. I want the pain to end. I do want to get better. But not at the cost my wife is forcing me to pay. I want to get better mentally but not with an acceptance that I could be homeless in 2 or 3 months. I am sick and tired of living like this. Damn it.