I dont want to feel the pain anymore

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Nicki, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. Nicki

    Nicki Active Member

    I'm 32 i have very bad depression,,I cant cope any longer i just want the pain to go,, I have tried everything,,but cant shake myself anymore..I was very badly abused by both parents My mother if you can call her that used to use me as a bunch bag..And my father used to do things to me and make me watch things that still over twenty years later i cant forget,,,The only thing is that i have a lovely boyfriend who has been helping through it all...The thing that has sent me over the edge is that before i know we got together he went to thailand and slept with a thai bar girl..He told me that she was fat and ugly...That doesnt bother me..Its just that i knew he wasnt being straight with me...Then the other day he came home from work early to tell me for the past two years he had not been straight with me and the thai bar girl was SLIM and he hated what happended...
    The pain that i have inside me at the moment i fell sick all the time,,and so low that i haven't been able to eat right for almost three days now...I no longer know what to do anymore..the only thing that i do know is that,,i wish that i didn't have to go through this pain and flashback of my childhood..and now i have to put up with the things that the man that tells me he loves me has lied to me for almost two years.