I want to apologize to myself. I'm sorry that I am always complaining and souring the mood, I'm sorry for spreading negativity. I am always expecting the worst. I am so afraid that I won't be able to make it. But the fact is, either I will come out of this rut and be a success or I'll be an abject failure. Those are the only two outcomes, so there is no point in worrying because either I'll succeed or I won't. I'm afraid that I won't be able to hold it together for much longer, I'm afraid I'll never have a job and end up homeless, I'm afraid that life will completely overwhelm me in the near future, and I won't be able to survive the depression. But none of this has even happened yet, and here I am, whining and complaining. I should be battling, because the battle is still on, I'm not defeated. My life is not over, I may be down but I am not out. I can do all the whining and complaining I want once this struggle is over, after all I'll have the rest of eternity to whine and complain. But now is not the time for that, I can still succeed so I am going to try my best and keep fighting. If life is going to defeat me, then so be it, but it hasn't happened yet, and so I will still fight. To life: You have me on the ropes, you are so close to the knockout, but let's see if you can do it. Come on, do your worst. Finish me. I'm ready for you, I'm ready to face my fate. I may have allowed you to beat me to the ground, but if you want to finish me, you are going to have to earn it. I am not going to help you and make it easy on you by whining and complaining.