I don't want to hurt anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KittyGirl, Jun 21, 2010.

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  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    no one does. I know that... it's hard. If it were easy; then no one would be depressed and everyone would be great and happy all the time. -____-

    I just feel so shitty.
    My body hates me. my sickness is getting worse and a doctor told me today that there's nothing that can be done, I just have to sit this 'spell' out.
    I'm fucking dizzy and can't concentrate and can't eat or drink; my stomach is in knots, I keep vomiting up bile and I've got terrible migraines... and I'm super emotional.
    I just keep fucking crying.
    Watched Toy Story 3 and fucking cried through most of it. >< I am such a BABY!

    I just keep thinking about my ex. About how I was so happy for 8 years of my life; before and after that time-- I was fucking miserable. I don't remember ever getting this sick before. It was like magic! Whenever he was around I felt happy and semi-healthy. I could run around and wrestle and have fun... now I can't even lift my own weight and I bruise just from rubbing up against someone else.
    what a fucking crock of shit.

    He had the right idea to leave when he did. I'm sure no one would want to have to look after a sick/annoying person like me for the rest of my life.

    Every time I feel like this and I try to do myself in-- I fail. There's no sense in trying to do it that way anymore... because obviously; my sick and weak body is immune to that and only that. -___-
    is that ironic? I think it is.
  2. monnie101

    monnie101 Member

    Its past 3am here in the US for me but I just wanted to leave you a quick one. Hang in there. I have Fibromiyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and one bad case of insomnia. It sucks but I foten tell myself and others, there is always someone else off worse so try to be thankful and blessed for what you do have that is good in life. Hang in there. Things used to be horrible for me and I refused to believe that I'd get out of it but yet here I am much older and still alive while I've seen a few others die. Stay Strong, keep hope alive. Try to stay busy because boredom creates depression. My niece said she saw Toy Story 3 and she liked it. I haven't yet but I love part 1 and 2.
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Thankyou... ><
    ha. I just keep freaking crying...
    The movie was good. XD Pixar really knows their stuff!

    I'm really emotional tonight. I hate it.
    I try to think that I could be worse off... but it's hard when you're in so much pain to believe that someone else in the world could possibly be feeling even more pain than you... you know?
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I'm really bad at this (helping people)... so i'm just going to hope you get better. I like reading your posts. Even though some are sad writings, they let me know you better.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :hug: I can relate to looking back on a lost significant other. I miss my ex, she barely talks to me any more. When she is over she tries to tease me. It hurts, she laughs as she knows I will never have another.

    It is funny how our mood can affect out illnesses. I am told by my ex and others that the happiness I felt came from me, and no one else. It is hard to believe it really is. That I could feel worth something. However, I want to find that again. I am sure you can as well.
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