I don't want to live anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by prettylies, May 12, 2016.

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  1. prettylies

    prettylies Active Member

    i literally just feel like I don't want to go through life... I don't want to live Anymore. I have hopes and dreams but I'm starting to think that they won't work out, I don't have a lot of friends I have trouble making friends and I feel like nobody likes me. Nobody cares if I'm around or not I don't feel like I'm important to anyone except my parents and like two of my friends but that's it and it's hard to feel worthy of anything
    I really am just deteriorating mentally, it's so hard to get myself up and out of bed each morning and I'm constantly pushing myself to do simple things and I'm always so angry and bitter but nobody knows, I just put on a happy face and I feel like I have nobody to talk to not even God is listening to me, I'm always happy happy happy on the outside I'm living a life and there's no point in anything for me im in pain I want to die I hate living
    Aquariusrising likes this.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I am sorry that you are feelig so down but please remember all the good days you will have ahead, if you die you can not stay to have those positive days. Relationships can always be mended, you can work on that. I have those issues too, it really does hurt to feel no one like you but turn it around and be positive and mend them relationships, best of luck to you my friend, keep talking to us here. What are your hobbies, what do you like doing in your spare time? Just know you are never alone here :)
  3. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Your definition of nobody seems inaccurate. Four people in your life care for you and that is a fact to be grateful for. When was the last time you told them how grateful you are for them being in your life?
  4. Romilly

    Romilly New Member

    How well I understand you! Like you I do not want to live anymore. I have suffered so much in my life already, I am now almost 60, enough is enough. I am very suicidal and thinking of methods of how to end my life everyday. If it were not for my 82 year old mother and my beloved pussy cat I would DO it! Like you I feel that not even God is there for me anymore. I have many wonderful friends but of course they cannot help me. I am taking antidepressants and tranquilizers - I feel like a zombie every day. I cannot FEEL anything anymore because of the medication and the depression. Empty inside, like you
    do not want to get up in the morning. What for? I cannot work anymore and so the days are long as I cannot do much because I feel so awful every day, mentally and physically. My life is a nightmare. I am in contact with an organization for assisted suicide. I have so much hope that they will help me. All other methods I am so scared of the pain, that it wont work etc etc. I do not, like you, even have the strength anymore to be happy on the outside... But not all was bad in my life - I do not want to sound too frustrated or angry or negative. I even managed to make my dream come true in becoming a singer in a country/rock band at 55 years of age! It was the biggest dream I ever had since I was a teenager and the last 3 years with the band were the most happy and fulfilled in my life. But then I became ill (burnout, physical health problems, depression) and I am not a band member anymore, because with the daily suicide thoughts I cannot stand on a stage anymore! I am very unhappy about this. The band is
    waiting for me to join them again, but it is not possible in my present situation. I know I am not alone, millions of people in the world suffer from depression and dont want to live anymore.
    All hope is gone that things will get better. I can only hope for that organization to help me......
    I can only wish you the very best and that things will get better for you.
    Romilly from Switzerland
  5. prettylies

    prettylies Active Member

    Thank you so much... I don't really have much time outside of work and school for extra things. I really love animals so I try to go out to the animal shelter from time to time, I like shopping but i don't really have the money to go anymore but I mean that's really all I can think of I just feel really unlike myself like I feel like I'm somebody else. Like I'm not me I don't know how to explain it, I tried to make an appointment with my psychiatrist but she can't get me in until July so I just have to see how things go until then but I really don't want to
  6. Robert1988

    Robert1988 New Member

    I know how you feeling, I've only just registered to this forum a matter of minutes ago, I have been feeling suicidal for around 4 weeks now
  7. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you're struggling.

    I can also relate to the 'no one likes me' thoughts... mostly those are the lies of a depressed brain that loves to make us focus on the negatives... which can be a tough cycle to break.

    Are you in any form of therapy or counseling to help you through these things? If not, could you talk to the school counselor?

    Also, keep focusing on those hopes and dreams, they are possible, maybe it takes time to work towards them, but they will be possible I'm sure. If they really aren't, there can still be other fulfilling things in their place.

    Take good care of yourself hun, you truly do deserve that!
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