I don't want to live anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stuharris, Feb 26, 2010.

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  1. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    I am just so fed up of life at the moment, i just want to end it all to stop these horrible feelings i have! Everytime in my life when i am happy, i can guarantee something will happen to muck it up! Tried to kill myself once before, but it failed. am so close to trying again cos i just don't want to be here anymore!
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    You can vent and air everything here, or if you prefer, shoot me a PM, and I'll respond.
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Can you tell us what has happened to make you feel so fed up, and to make you feel this is the best route?

    Suicide is often described as the events in your life outweighing the coping mechanisms you have for them, and this sounds similar to what you are experiencing. you sound very overwhelmed by it all, which is a horrible way to feel.

    Life is a rolle coaster unfortunately, and whilst bad things do happen after good, it works the other way round, and good things do happen after bad, sometimes even because of something bad.
     
  4. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    I feel so useless, i can't do anything in my life without mucking it up, i can't have a woman without getting it wrong and ending up on my own again! Why is life so pointless!
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What happened?

    You are human and are fallable and so make mistakes like everyone else. It doesn't make you useless, it just makes you a person.

    Life doesn't have to be pointless, you can find a point, although I appreciate sometimes that can be hard.
     
  6. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    I have screwed another relationship up! She told me yesterday that she doesn't have feelings for me, and she says that i try and blackmail her in to loving me! The truth is that i have never ever met a woman who i get on with and love and adore as much as her! I can't cope with life without her, just can't stop crying!
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It can be very painful to hear those things. Do you think what she said about blackmail is true?

    I'm sorry she doesn't have feelings for you, but that is not down to you, that is down to her. It can feel wretched though when you love someone and they can't love you back.

    Grief is very painful and its what you're facing right now. Crying is good, even though it feels rubbish, because it releases healing hormones in the tears.

    Please keep talking if it helps in some way
     
  8. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    i don't think the comments on blackmail are true, but who knows!

    The thoughts of never seeing here again is so over whelming, i just can't get that thought out of my head! In all of this i just don't want to huret her anymore and feel it would be best for everyone if i were out of the way for good!
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think, if you were to kill yourself then that would hurt her more than you'll ever know. She would probably carry that guilt for the rest of her life. She would probably always blame herself.

    Maybe, for now, the best thing is to try and give her some space, and allow yourself to grieve for her and for what you had, and to find yourself some support (maybe in the form of SF, maybe in the form of a therapist or someone), to help you through this.
     
  10. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    it just hurting so bad!

    Have just about coped today, but now its night time, thefeelings are so bad!
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I hear you. It hurts unbearably. I know those feelings, and, to put it lightly, they suck. Nighttime is always worse for me too, so I can relate a lot on that scale too.

    Try to just focus on getting trhough this moment. Could you call a helpline? Or go to A&E/ER? Is there a friend or relative or a pet you could get some company with?
     
  12. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    I just don't know what to do, i can't even think straiht!
     
  13. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    i love her so much, i would go to the end of the earth for her if she wanted me to. Just can't stop thinking of her, can't stop looking at her pic on my mobile! pkease hekp me!
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What country are you in? could you call a helpline? sometimes actually talking to people can make the world of difference, more than typing can.
     
  15. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    Am in the UK!
     
  16. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

  17. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    It sounds like your going through a really hard time, I agree although its not easy sometimes it really does help to talk to someone about how you are feeling and what your thinking. Have you ever called the Samaritans before? A friend of mine has tried them before and found it really helpful. Their number is 08457 90 90 90 they're available 24/7 or there is proberly a local crisis team available for you to contact. They will be there to help and can then maybe help get you some further support that you may find useful to help you get through this. If you want to talk any time you can PM me x
     
  18. Stuharris

    Stuharris Active Member

    i will give it a try, anything to get rid of these feelings!
     
  19. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Sorry was writing reply at same time, didn't see someone had already posted about samaritans x
     
  20. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It can sometimes help ease the feelings. They can be very good for letting you talk and letting you vent all you need to, and letting you know they hear and care.I used to call them a lot when I was going through a horrendous grief, and it did help get me through, I think.

    I hope they are able to help you.
     
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