There is nothing more to say. I dont want to continue on. I have a job that I hate with all of my heart I do way too many drugs I am a 50 year old loser. I am stuck in this miserable life of mine. I am not going to rehab I am not going to a doctor or the emergency room. Been there done that. No good. I want to kill myself. I am not saying I will, though I might but I really. really want to die. I dont want to do this any more. Im stuck. I always think about death and killing myself. My wife and kids are dysfunctional prolly because of me. Everything is my fault. I hate myself. All I have in my heart is hatred. What ELSE am I to do????