I don't want to live.

here it is, the stage where I go tired, it has been few days since I started thinking of killing myself, I am too weak to live this life, maybe I was born wrong, i want to have a good life or not have one at all and I can't have a good life, life is a chore for me.

 

It's never fun when life seems like a chore, but it doesn't have to be that way. I'd say life can be good but that depends on what you consider to be a good life I suppose. I think life can be a great thing because we can leave this world at any time (Sounds weird I know, let me explain) Since we can leave whenever (whether it be suicide or just dying), it's not like we have to worry so much about things in our day to day life. We're not gonna be here forever, so what time we do have here we can spend doing what we want before we leave. I promise you weren't born wrong, you were born as you and that's exactly who you're supposed to be. Maybe you feel too weak to live this life right now because you're going through a rough patch, I am too honestly. But that doesn't mean it'll always be that way. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. I'm always willing to listen and I won't judge you no matter what.

 

well I lost someone I loved, with him I was different, strong and ambitious, I was like that because of him, not because I am like that by nature. I lost everything with him, Once he left I stopped, just stopped, living, breathing, I know I will never have strength to chnage my life in a better way, while hi is enjoying his life in UK and Dubai and many other beautiful places with his 5 brothers and sisters, I have to stay with my parents in one bed apartment, working in a shitty job, having no money, no progress for the past 6 months, no interests, no friends, he moves forward and forward, this is how he is, and me? what me? pathetic me, I am not feeling sorry for myself, I just now I am one of those, I can't get up and make the best out of it

 

I don't want to live either, wish I could disapear

 

I'm very sorry

 

i relate very much to this. somebody i loved recently left me, in the most haunting manner ever. and i feel guilty, small, lost.
all that's keeping me going is the small hope he will write back, after his anger at me subsides.

how are you doing? i hope you find some hope to cling to as well, no matter how small.