I don't want to put on this happy face.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by TheBLA, May 6, 2010.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    So I'm set to go to my college graduation ceremony and my parents are holding a party for me later this month. Both events of which I'll have to put on my best mask to hide the absolute pain, misery and anguish I am in.

    At both events, there will be so many happy people, everyone will think this is such a great accomplishment for me and that my future looks all bright and sunny. In reality, I'll just be thinking about ending my miserable, pathetic life. :dry:

    I always hate having hide my depression, and now, I have to fake extra hard this month. Sigh...guess I may have to take some extra Prozac than usual on those days.

    I wish they knew how I truly feel. They have no freaking idea. :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2010
  2. Theseus

    Theseus Well-Known Member

    If you don't feel comfortable attending such a party, tell your parents to cancel it.
    Also, can't you collect your degree without having to attend the graduation ceremony?
  3. Tomas

    Tomas Well-Known Member

    I'd say pluck up the courage to attend your graduation as that will be a important moment for both you and your parents. The party on the other hand simply isn't necessary, so perhaps suggest a quiet family dinner.

    Hopefully that would avoid causing any offense rather than rejecting the celebration entirely.
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Sounds exactly like my college graduation. What a miserably stress full time that was for me. Maybe you should just let your mask break. I kind of wish I had.

    Congratulations on graduating, I know how hard it is.
  5. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I didn't go to my graduation & I don't regret it either though my family were not best pleased. Tomas had a good suggestion re the quiet family dinner if you don't want a party.

    It's ok to let the mask slip sometimes :hug:.
  6. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I graduated from undergrad last spring, and I felt exactly the way you did. I was actually planning on ending it a few days before graduation... but I forced myself to attend graduation and all the parties.

    It sucks, but I can relate. *hugs* You'll get through this. The graduation ceremony itself will be pretty boring.. you'll spend most of the time sitting in chairs. I used that time to space out and daydream. The party will probably be a lot harder.. but you can get through that too. Is there any way you can convince your parents to make it a smaller thing - like the dinner people above me have suggested?
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I hate having to do all the fake smiles too. I usually put on a regular face and when people ask me what is wrong, I tell them I'm tired. Most will accept that. A small family dinner sounds good.
  8. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations. It's good to know that your parents are holding a party for you, even though they don't understand how you really feel.
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Thanks to everyone for your replies.

    Really, this graduation ceremony and party are to make my stupid parents happy, to project to our friends, family and neighbors that I'm "normal", even though I am absolutely not on the inside. They would be upset if I didn't go to them. It would make them look bad in front of everybody else. I have to act "normal" and fit in as best with everyone else as I can. Whatever makes those idiots happy I guess. I cannot back out of them now, its too late.

    I just have to painfully grin and bear this.

    It will be difficult and awkward to go with all these happy people surrounding me, thinking I have my whole life ahead of me, that I will be happy and successful. And all the while, I feel that I have no future, my future will only be pain and misery and I have to end my life soon. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2010
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