I don't want tomorrow to come.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by WintersWhite, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. WintersWhite

    WintersWhite New Member

    I'm going back to school for my registration.
    I don't really want to go there again. Last year, I started with a positive attitude and self-esteem but then it started going down throughout the year. Also, my classmates are mostly a negative bunch and I'm distrusting to the school staff, believing that they think grades are the most important thing in the world. Lately, talk of school makes me even more uncomfortable than ever! I'm tempted to say it triggers me, but I think that's just a huge exaggeration.
    I told my dad I wanted to be homeschooled, but he turned down the idea. He said "you're just going to be even more shyer!" My dreams felt crushed, I felt I finally had the chance to escape the place that made me feel horrible but I didn't.
    I wanted to try and convince my dad again, but I'm always too scared. Now, I feel like maybe I took too long.
    Now I'm sitting here anxiously at bedtime, thinking to myself "What should I do?!" I feel like I'd rather die than go back.. I'm feeling really anxious. I'm starting to feel like "If I can't turn my life around, I'd rather not live it. I don't want to be its puppet anymore."
    I'm sorry, maybe I'm making a big deal out of it, but I still want to vent and maybe get some advice on what I should do..
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are IMPORTANT and at a very tender age. Please enroll at school and do not worry now. We will help YOU. I know your are worried but if you can concentrate on your studies it will help you in getting a better future. I understand you father talking about your shyness but overtime you will overcome this. You have to remain strong which I know it's hard.

    From what you say about your schoolmates, you should ignore them and concentrate on yourself. Is there a school counsellor you can speak to in private. I know you are hurting but keep posting here. I will help you as much as I can. Please PM me day or night if you want to talk in private.

    You are important and please do not worry now. We will support you through tough period in your life. All of us, do care about you and just think someone in the world does care to help you. Just remember people carry smiles on faces but suffer in silence. You are brave to post here, so go give your father a big hug and tell him you love him. You father would miss you a lot.

    Be safe and take care.