i don't.

my days are getting numbered as school approaches
and even with all of your advice i'm still petrified and have anxiety

i know for a fact that i don't want to live through it.
i wanna die but in a way where it can seem as an 'accident'
because the thought of me dying and people saying its a suicide.... haunts me.

i don't want to be the 'girl who committed suicide'

i really don't.
i start school next week.
i gotta die before then

 

Kayla

:hug:

School starts for me in a week as well... I wish the summer wouldn't end so soon.

 

I'm relatively new so maybe you have posted this elsewhere but where, as in what type of school are you starting?
Anything new can bring huge huge anxiety but please don't give in to that.
I am familiar with it so not minimizing.
I just had a huge episode with something myself but I'm going to try again.

I don't want you to have what you would like to be seen as an "accident"

What other thoughts are you having about the whole thing? (if I may ask)
I don't want to intrude but I will listen.

 

Hun have you tried making an appt early to see the school councillor to talk about your anxieties your fears It will help you to know one person at least that you can go to if you are feeling overwhelmed Maybe see if you can get in to see someone soon okay Also please know you are not the only one feeling this way hun lots of kids are feeling the same way you are The first day will be one to meet new people new connections okay Reach out now okay so your anxiety does not get the best of you Go to the school and talk with someone okay hugs

 

I agree about going to the school and meeting with someone, also maybe looking around so you are familiar with parts of it. This sometimes helps.

 

yeah i don't want summer to end either i'm dreading it.

i'm starting college, freshman year at a community college.

i'm sorry i don't feel like re-explaining.

 

i'm not gonna make it. i really don't. the only thing that is keeping me going is you SF members but as the date gets closer i get more and more worried and scared and sad and depressed. i just can't do this anymore.

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to reexplain.

I hope you hold on because I think you can do it.

Are you able to go to the school ahead of time and explore a bit?
And do you think that might help? Talk to a counselor?
.
I only ask because I have major anxieties about new things myself and usually bail out but some things are way too important as this is for you.
When I went to school I went to the campus first and looked around.
It was still intimidating on day one but not as bad had I not known where I was going.

And remember most people will be frightened and anxious...not only you.
So you won't be alone in your feelings there.

Still I understand and it's easier said than done but I hope you will try. It could be a huge turning point for you.
If it's too hard that's okay too and maybe not the right time? I'm not sure. I only want to encourage you and hope you do what's best for you